Tuffy Bumpus

A sword that glows. A rocket that goes. A sparkling necklace. A dazzling ring. A thousand and one illuminated things.
(they/them)

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

On the off chance you remember who I am or why you followed me, I'm also over on bluesky doing more-or-less this same thing indefinitely.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

@_lizharvey Thank you for the clarification.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

@Themaplewitch I was so confused, because I know I'm definitely already following you over there. Then I realized: oh, that one's Sexy Tracy.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

On the off chance you remember who I am or why you followed me, I'm also over on bluesky doing more-or-less this same thing indefinitely.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

I cannot believe that for a SECOND TIME I allowed myself to hope america would elect a woman as president instead of the caricature of an incoherent bigoted egomaniac. Real Charlie Brown football hours this morning for me personally.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Though it seems anachronistic now, Deee-Lite Saving Time was innovative in its day for ensuring workers had enough time to enjoy listening to "Groove Is in the Heart" after the workday ended.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Has anyone peeled James Cromwell off that counter he's superglued to and told him yet?

[TODAY @TODAYshow]

Starbucks will no longer charge extra for nondairy milk https://t.co/5BgrXsZE2R

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Wish I had a brain that was capable of being purely happy for my coworker getting a new job without simultaneously flooding with self-pitying thoughts like "this was the only work friend I'd made in the past ten years."

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Free Palestine

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Sorry if I've been quiet lately. It feels weird to tweet stuff like "bacterial vaginosis? that ain't no joke, sis" with all the government-endorsed genocide going on.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Finally over the weekend I had enough supplies to cook a meal for myself in my own home for the first time since moving in 2020, and it was.....the worst mashed potatoes I've ever eaten. Somehow both lumpy, gritty, and gummy. A truly humbling experience.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

For years I hadn't cooked in the home I rent because I didn't own the appliances to do it and wasn't comfortable using someone else's kitchen. Lots of different excuses I was making to lead a dismal existence eating only take out meals.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Weeks ago I decided I didn't want to live this way anymore and started collecting cookware and pantry staples. I was digging up recipes I used to make and really getting into the prospect of controlling what goes into the food I eat again.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

I'm not comfortable calling the Tasmanian Devil "Taz." I don't know how to explain it. I just don't think he would want me to.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

This was in APRIL. I don't own a front door! What would I even do with this!? Leaving it behind was the right thing to do!!

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

I would relish having a day...an hour...one single moment of peace where I don't think about this Tasmanian Devil door knocker I didn't buy at a thrift store.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Your childhood is the time for eating Pizza Hut. Leave that shit in the past.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

The moment I hear you refer to the current time period as "nowadays" I'm already preparing to write off whatever opinion you're about to express.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Did they change the recipe for Fruit Roll-Ups, or is this just what they taste like when you're forty?

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

The "driver on the bus" section of Wheels On the Bus is a rare opportunity to roast the idiosyncrasies of specific local bus drivers that I feel we never fully take advantage of.

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

40

[Tuffy Bumpus @TinyPinecones]

Me: the interior thoughts of strangers are unknowable and speculation on them reveals more about your own prejudices and insecurities than anything else.

Also me: the person working behind the grocery store deli counter dislikes me to the limits of what any human is capable.