Todd Kirchman

Todd K for the USA

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

@benporterssed @purduerunclub Ok Ben

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that there are people on Instagram who fucking cut sand for a living.

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

They should make playboy for gay people. And they can call it “Gayboy”!!! Why am I still alive?

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Birds are indestructible.

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

For all you future scientists out there. We need all of our foremost thinkers to find a way to turn human shit into energy.

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Just thought of a new word. Boneurysm- The swelling and sometimes rupture of blood vessels in your penis.

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

“Say hello to my little friend!”
-My sex life summed up in a quote

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Oh my god I am so fucking cool

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

It’s Alex Post actually

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Woah wait is this that not @joseerauul7? I feel like not being racist today

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

It’s @bprushpurc in all actuality. I heard he gained 10 pounds since college

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Wait is that not the @Goose_V

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Name dat ass

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

What the hell are you supposed to do if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, but you haven’t taken Viagra?

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

A meme god that’s what! I have ascended to a higher plane of existence where I can finally enjoy Rick and Morty

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

What have I become?

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

Skrt skrt yeet yeet
My dick is a delicious treat

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

*insert tweet about crippling depression from finals here*

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

@Danielw33267104 @Wendys Power move. Bring it back first

[Todd Kirchman @ToddKirchman]

@Wendys McDonalds won’t bring back Szechuan Sauce. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!! #RickandMorty #SzechuanSauce