Tom Halter

Some do stand-up comedy. I'm more into sit-down humour myself.

[Sofiane @___Sofiane]

Altercation entre Veronique Rabiot et le père de Thomas Müller en tribunes.

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Summer 2019 : dude I fucking love Chernobyl, they should do another one with new villains this time and, like, in other places

March 2020 : I was talking about THE SHOW you absolute cretin, wtf's wrong with you

#Quarantine #Covid19 #Coronavirus #NetflixAndKill #SitDownComedy

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Toi aussi, fais comme si tu prenais tout ça avec philosophie ! Copions pour briller en isolement et masquer sa panique (daily updates) :
https://t.co/U8aF0XESRF

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

So, this one is definitely not about me, like, ever, at all. I mean I usually submit to #experts but it’s so much harder to do with #IT folks… Can’t figure out why.
#Comedy #Humour #Helpdesk #ITcrowd #Tech #Expertise #FDP #Vaccins #Vaccines #Auteur #Copy #Translation #Traduction

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Hello, my name is Tommy. Vasek Tommy. *James Bond theme starts* EN & FR post ✌🏻

#Vasectomy #Vasectomie #Comedy #Parenting #Parents #Famille #Family #AloneTime #MomentsPerso #Humour #Traduction #Translation #Copy #Author #Auteur

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

I don't know who did this, but it just makes you love the Internet even more. #Brexit

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Boomers: we're the best because we've been raised by the best generation ever

Also boomers: wtf these millenial turds are the worst omg

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Colleagues who come to talk to you without any regard for your current schedule is the professional equivalent of parents being mad at you for not picking up the phone while you're at work. FUCKING WRITE YOU LAZY CUNTS!

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Bon c'est pas parce que je fais la gamine #poète dans son journal intime pré-dépucelage que j'ai pas envie de tout péter à commencer par ta djeule oh, tu me prends pour une sucrée ou quoi?! #Poésie #Eargasm #Littéradure #CommeMaBite #Overcompensating #Ultrasensible #ToutGâcher

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Je supporte mal la chaleur du coup j'hiberne l'été. Je me réveille doucement là, avec des néologismes goûtus plein la tête. French only, sorry folks. #Vocabulaire #Mots #Auteur #Hauteur #SauceBlanche #Gardin #Langue #Dramaturge #Théâtre #Souvent #Vulgaire #Jamais #Grossier

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Great read! Thanks @BrunoBoelpaep for this awesome gift. I enjoyed every paragraph of this deliciously weird @joelgolby autobiography 😍 https://t.co/K5YaiI4iW8

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

@Team_Macron_ comment on fait pour vous obtenir un petit ☑️ sur votre profil? Vous le méritez, vous représentez plus fidèlement LREM que Brigitte en jet ski dans la piscine de Brigandçon! 💙💟💔

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Hard to keep on fighting against the death penalty and for democracy when so many people think it's ok to whistle at work.

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Thanks for everything @GRRMspeaking, take your time for the next ASOIAF books; just DM me about 4 months before ADOS comes out so I have time to read the other books once more (day job & not EN native). I won't tell anyone, my friends don't read the good stuff anyway 😘

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

@elonmusk I'm just saying we could have great shows to finance global crisis solving but here we are stuck with cable news and The Voice. But, hey, at least we defeated the commies. What a fucking dumb planet...

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

So you're telling me we're working on settling Mars but we can't ALSO have pills that make you lose fat through neat solid poop or cocaine that doesn't end up driving you insane and killing you?!

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Can we ALSO please have a reality TV show where @elonmusk hunts Jeff Bezos for sports and stops slavery in their businesses after swearing off capitalism? Then for the season finale, there'd be a guillotine-building tutorial by Tom Morello absolving Elon of his past Kapital ways?

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

Any idea for saving humanity besides getting the guillotine back into fashion? Asking for a friend.

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

How come people can bring their kid to work but I can't take my dog and my dealer to the office? Smh

[Tom Halter @TomHalterWords]

It's not really freedom if it doesn't make other people free. If you're the only one who feels free it's probably a Cream song so please stop singing with your earbuds on, you're pissing off the whole floor.