(((Noah - RivalMG)))

A high powered mutant of some kind, never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die... RIVAL MUSIC GROUP LTD.

[onion person @CantEverDie]

tim heidecker describes how to turn piss into gold https://t.co/ahOqvcHBVS

[Lester @Chen]

the best 3 minutes of video I've watched this year

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I spent $1.4 million on Microsoft Copilot.

$30 per seat per month.

4,000 employees.

Why?

2 words.

Digital transformation.

This morning I opened Microsoft Teams.

My top notification wasn't from my boss.

It wasn't from my team.

It wasn't a customer escalation.

It wasn't my wife.

It was Microsoft.

Telling me to learn how to use the thing I already bought.

It said ... "Elevate your expertise with new Copilot courses."

I've had these licenses for 6 months.

Apparently ... I should have waited.

The courses are 47 minutes each.

There are 9 of them.

That's 7 hours of learning.

Times 4,000 employees.

28,000 hours.

To learn the tool ... that was supposed to save us 40,000 hours.

We're already down 12,000 hours.

And no one's opened it yet.

Here's the math I don't put in the deck.

4,000 employees.

Average salary ... $105,000.

That's $50 an hour.

Times 7 hours of training.

Times 4,000 people.

$1.4 million.

In labor.

Just to learn the tool.

The training ... costs as much as the software.

$2.8 million.

Year 1.

To save 12,000 hours.

That's $233 ... per hour saved.

The CFO will never see this slide.

But I'll mandate the training.

Completion rates will be tracked.

Tracked means dashboarded.

Dashboarded means presented.

Presented means ... "adoption metrics are strong."

The graph will go up ... and to the right.

Strong adoption ... of the training ... for the tool no one uses.

Microsoft will send another case study team.

The case study will be called

"Enterprise drives 98% Copilot Academy completion."

The CEO will post it on LinkedIn.

He still won't know what Copilot does.

But he'll know we're ... "committed to continuous learning."

Learning is a journey.

The journey costs $1.4 million per year.

Plus $1.4 million in training labor.

To summarize emails ... we could read in 30 seconds.

But here's the thing.

I'll renew next year.

Because canceling requires a business case.

The business case requires ROI data.

The ROI data comes from the dashboard.

The dashboard shows 98% training completion.

98% is a success.

Success means renewal.

Renewal means ... I keep my job.

My job is ... making decisions.

I made a decision.

The decision was $2.8 million.

The decision cannot be wrong.

Because wrong decisions ... don't get promoted.

I got promoted.

So the decision was right.

This is called ... "strategic alignment."

Next quarter ... we're adding Microsoft 365 Copilot Studio.

It costs extra.

It lets us build ... custom Copilots.

Custom Copilots ... to automate the workflows ... no one has ... because everyone's still ... in training.

Microsoft says it's ... "transformational."

I believe them.

I have to.

I already signed the contract.

[Visit Sault Ste. Marie @VisitTheSault]

At 729 feet long, she ruled the Great Lakes when she launched in 1958 — the largest freighter of her time.

[Jomboy Media @JomboyMedia]

“OH NO! NO WAY! OH MY GOD! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!”

Davis Schneider’s dad posted a video of the leadoff home run from his point of view

[Just Baseball @JustBB_Media]

Players with 20+ hits and 2 or fewer strikeouts in the first 12 games of a single postseason:

Ernie Clement

End of list 🤯

[Jacob Pacheco @JacobPacheco6]

This was the Seattle Mariners radio broadcast call of the George Springer's go-ahead 7th inning home run.

THE SILENCE IS DEAFING! Take a listen🔊:

#WANTITALL #WorldSeries

[FOX Sports: MLB @MLBONFOX]

Here we are, we are going to the World Series!"

Max Scherzer joins the show and celebrates the @BlueJays advancing to the Fall Classic

[bomani @bomani_jones]

baseball is such an amazing game. just the construct of it.

[Rob Friedman @PitchingNinja]

Jeff Hoffman, K'ing the Side in the 9th. 🍾

[Sarah Langs @SlangsOnSports]

Pitchers to face 3 batters and strike out all 3 in final inning of a Game 7:

2025 ALCS Jeff Hoffman, 4-3 lead
1986 ALCS Calvin Schiraldi, 8-1 lead

[MLB @MLB]

Trey Yesavage is the winning pitcher in an elimination Game 6 for the @BlueJays.

It was just his 6th career MLB start.

He's only 22 years old!

[Ian Hunter @BlueJayHunter]

"Start spreading the news, bitches, we're going!"

[Mel Brooks @MelBrooks]

I told you we’d be back

[Bernie Finkelstein @BernieFinkelste]

We're very happy to announce that our film Atomic Reaction has just been nominated for a Canadian Screen Award. Here's some info about the film and the nomination. And if you haven't seen the film yet, it's currently playing on CBC's Gem. Please do watch. I think you'll like it.

[matt @matt_mondays]

luka doncic to the lakers

[All The Right Movies @ATRightMovies]

INTERSTELLAR was released 10 years ago this week. The 9th feature film of director Christopher Nolan, and one of the biggest science fiction epics of the 21st century, the story of how it was made will have you wondering at our place in the stars…

1/50

[(((Noah - RivalMG))) @Tonewise]

@kwhiteii @Ihartitz Regretamine

[(((Noah - RivalMG))) @Tonewise]

@DannyDrinksWine This has to be a @RZA sample in here somewhere