Toots N Such

Humor and Jokes

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

I can’t think of any more boat puns. Canoe?

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

"When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again."
— Albert Einstein

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Are you sure you're not an alien because you've just abducted my heart!

#ValentinesDay #love

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, asentencewithoutspaces.

#jokes
#ValentinesDay

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Why is everyone so tired in April? Long March.

#jokes

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Even if there weren't any gravity on Earth, I would still fall for you!

#ValentinesDay

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Why did the woman start making breakfast at 11:59 p.m. on December 31?
She wanted a New Year's toast.

#humor

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

May the Good Lord take a liking to you — but not too soon.

#humour

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee that's a moray.

#ValentinesDay

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Fun fact:
Psycho was the first movie to show a toilet flushing. (https://t.co/w6j2EXPsNz)

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Bad puns, that's how eye roll.

#jokes

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Can February March? No, but April May.

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

I don’t know why people flock to Times Square on New Year’s Eve. They always drop the ball.

#humor #newyearseve #nyc #happynewyear

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

"Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist—while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of wine, I drank it! Sincerely, the opportunist!"
— Lori Greiner

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone's garden.

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.

Karl Kraus

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

We go together like copy and paste.

#ValentinesDay #badpickuplines

[Toots N Such @Tootsnsuch]

The jokes will end.