Torm

I talk too much.

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@JoJoFromJerz Close the door when you use the toilet. That solves the cat problem. Keep the wine glass in hand. That solves the everything problem.

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@dpakman Lol you have "been allowed into Canada". You belong here. We are lucky to have you here. Ditch that shithole country that you came from. Also you are obviously in Quebec if you are saying "bonjour". Get out of there and see the rest of the country. It is really great!

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@asteriababe You can re-read your favourite books any time and you totally should. Just be prepared to realise they aren't as good as you remember them being. Also I spelled "favourite" with an "OU" and you spelled it with just an "O" so I am obviously Canadian and you are obviously American.

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@asteriababe You probably could get paid for being pretty. Just look into casting calls and model jobs. Go for it

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@asteriababe Why can't I just be paid to be a fat ugly slob

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@mainesongwriter @JoJoFromJerz It is difficult to agree with a person who doesn't respect punctuation.

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@joncoopertweets Did she answer the phone? I wonder what shows up on the phone as the contact info when the president calls. Whenever I see that it is the government calling I don't answer, then I put my phone on mute and stuff my phone behind some couch cushions for three days

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@JoJoFromJerz The best damn cult in town!

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@MrJonCryer Bring back smallpox and let's see how they spin it

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@idoter @dpakman All of us spend our lives yearning and searching for the one true hotdog.

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@AmbJohnBolton @Liz_Cheney For your own sake you should no longer use terms like "our party". It isn't the party you were ever associated with. They just haven't rebranded themselves yet as the Jackass Party. Too bad the democrats already took the jackass as their mascot and logo...

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@GeorgeTakei He didn't fail. His goal was to rally up all of the jackasses of America under a new "republican" image. It was a stunning success. Like I successfully took a huge sh*t in the toilet and it actually flushed in one flush. But the waste that went down ended up in our drinking water

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@ananavarro @Liz_Cheney I really hope you are right. Unfortunately it's the people in power who write things down for future generations to look at as "history books". Much work needs to be done for Liz to be remembered accurately. It really calls into question what we believe to be our own history

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@alfranken @JimmyKimmelLive Gosh darn it, people like you

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@alfranken @JimmyKimmelLive Future presidential candidate hosts Jimmy Kimmel Live. You'll do great

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@alfranken @BetterCallSaul @mrbobodenkirk @JimmyKimmelLive Al Franken and Bob Odenkirk chatting on Jimmy Kimmel's show is going to be one of the best interviews since Craig Ferguson and Jeff Goldblum. I will definitely be watching. One for the history books

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@asteriababe This is the best comment you have ever made

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@asteriababe Once you turn 25 you realise you would give anything to be 6 years old again

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@asteriababe Everything just seems to get worse and worse. It becomes increasingly difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But for some reason alot of people I know are doing just fine and will be fine forever but the way my life goes and the way I see things, everything sucks