Traster

Snarky, stunningly sharp, superhumanesque nerd, savagely struggling to style himself in the likes of a suave swashbuckler.

[Dhruvam @Dhruvam987]

Humans have almost found a way to cheat everything

[@Riemerville @Riemerville]

Teens are telling their therapists they don’t believe there will be a world left for them when they grow up

My family therapist told me therapists are talking about this with each other because none of them know what to say

I can’t stop thinking about that

[FactPost @factpostnews]

Pete Hegseth demanded his team to bring Eisenhower's globe in his office, despite warnings that only historians should move the iconic globe.

His staff dropped it and broke it.

[kali666 🔻🏳️‍⚧️ 🇨🇳 🇵🇭 @kunaiposting]

this is literally a simpsons bit

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

This is happening in a lot of states. Republicans are trying to cheat.

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

Inspired by his handlers

[Traster @Traster]

@jjrush025 @CtgjrJr @JoJoFromJerz That is what you are defending, you pathetic shit gargling fuckwit.

[Traster @Traster]

@jjrush025 @CtgjrJr @JoJoFromJerz Trump was found guilty of rape.
The law did not equate at the time, forcible digit penetration as a form of rape. It does federally.

So your defense is that he was found guilty of forcibly inserting fingers into a woman's vagina against her will, but it "didn't count ad rape."

[Traster @Traster]

@jjrush025 @CtgjrJr @JoJoFromJerz I'd vote for a Japanese peace lily in a nice planter over either of them but that wasn't a realistic option.

You voted for a pedophile, racist, xenophobic, rapist.

Tell me which one of us voted for the wrong person?

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.

[Traster @Traster]

@BasedAntiLeft @adammocklerr You don't owe anyone anything you stupid little cuck.

I'm well aware if how the government operates.
All bills end up with stupid shit in them - better not pass any bills! Right?

Sit down you bitchmade fucktard.

[Traster @Traster]

@jjrush025 @CtgjrJr @JoJoFromJerz No we didn't you fuckwit.
That's why we voted for Kamala.
You loser scumbags have a problem with that too.
See, you hate us no matter who we voted for or stood behind because it wasn't Trump.

You're the brainwashed party.
You're in a cult.
And you're the fucking problem.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Oh he’s fucking losing it.
He’s showing his true rage more and more now as he slips further and further into dementia.

[Traster @Traster]

@BasedAntiLeft @adammocklerr Name the stupid shit please.
For those of us who haven't read it.

[Traster @Traster]

@theres10cue @greendragonhq You're so fucking stupid, we get it. You want to vote for Trump a 4th time.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

If this reporting is confirmed...Jesus...just Jesus.

[Traster @Traster]

@k9labyrinth @Dexerto Your story scares me. I would need to have someone walk me through literally everything. It's like buying the porche and then learning how to drive. You want it to work out well.

[Bark @barkmeta]

Conspiracy theorists realizing they were right… again

[Traster @Traster]

@SgtShort63014 @RacismDog @Support Interesting.
Don't worry I'll keep reporting and trying to help you out.

[Traster @Traster]

Maybe @RacismDog can help or something.

I'm super confused how this wasn't a violation of rules. @Support Feel free to spell it out for me.
Their comment history is also all straight racism.