hold her, so he would know thatโs exactly what she wants.
She also never wanted him to stop kissing her, sparks always lighting in her body at even the smallest touch, from her head to her toes, her mind going hazy.
โI love you.โ Elain murmured again, against his lips, smiling as she did.
โAnd Iโm not going to stop. Even if the world got on their knees and begged, I wouldnโt stop.โ
When she kissed him back, she wanted him to pull her closer, to be comfortable enough to touch her, and+
Azriel listened, a small smile breaking across his faceโsoft, unguarded, and so rare it felt almost sacred. Very few could ever claim to have seen him like this.
There was nothing unreadable about him now. No mask. No shadows to hide behind. Just something open, gentleโ
I ever could have asked for. I would never dream of asking for more. When youโre here, and you look at me the way you doโฆwhat else could I ever need?โ
Elain smiled when he pulled her closer, the light in her eyes returning.
โWith how many words will I have to say I choose you, until you understand?โ She joked, putting her hand on his on her chest.+
Azriel listened without interrupting, his gaze locked on hers the entire time, drinking in every word as if he could carve them into his bones; commit them to memory, to heart.
His eyes fluttered shut when she cupped his cheek, lashes trembling, but only for a moment. He opened+
title was involved, or wealth, and I may not ever be lucky enough to have a true, great love. I know nowโฆthat those things donโt matter. Because the way I love you, is indescribable.โ
โYour love, your loyalty, your patience, your friendshipโฆitโs all+
Elain nodded, that glint in her eyes flickering as he pulled away.
She sighed, her eyes searching his face. โI wish you would understand that Iโm not getting close to you because I feel like Iโm obligated. Iโฆwant you.โ+
Azrielโs expression shifted at her words, turning serious as he pulled back slightly; just enough to put a careful distance between them. Not because he didnโt trust herโฆ but because he didnโt trust himself.
โYou donโt owe me anything, Elain,โ he said softly, though his tone +
She hesitated on the last words, her voice breaking. โIโve wanted you for longer than I care to admit. And when I say I want to give you these things, itโs because I want to. Not because you want me to.โ
She rested her hand on his cheek. โAnything I give you, is from me.โ+
โI wish I could give you something in return.โ She whispered against his lips, a teasing tone in her voice. โMy heart, perhaps?โ
โOrโฆeverything I am.โ She breathed, that desperation sneaking past her mind, out of her lips, before she could catch it.
Elain still struggled to keep her heart from leaping out of her chest whenever his lips touched hers, blush covering her cheeks.
She kissed him back, trying to keep the desperation from her body, her hand still in his hair.+
Azriel shivered when Elain reached up to brush the tears from the corners of his eyes; but even more at the words she whispered to him, so endlessly gentle. He felt it again when she kissed his cheek, her thumb grazing his skin.
He didnโt close his eyes this time. He couldnโt. +
Elainโs smile fell when she saw the tears in his eyes, immediately reaching up to brush them out of the corners of his eyes.
โItโs okay to cry.โ She said, after a moment. โYou donโt have to hide. Not from me.โ She kissed his cheek, her thumb+
Azriel took his time answering, really thinking it through. He leaned into her touch, resting his cheek against her knuckles as she brushed them softly along his skin.
โPianoโฆor maybe the violin,โ he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath. โA melodyโฆI think Iโd try to +
brushing his skin. โEven though it breaks my heart to see it. Iโm here.โ
She ran a hand through his hair, stroking it soothingly. โI would be honored to be your dance partner.โ She smiled.
โI would also be honored to hear one of those melodies, sometime. Anything created by+
She smiled as he mentioned the waltz again, a rare mischievous glint in her eyes. โInteresting. You know, I happen to know the waltz, too. Very well, actually.โ
โItโs sad, I havenโt had a partner in years.โ She smiled. โWhen was the last time you danced?โ
Elain nodded, understanding in her eyes. โThat makes a lot of sense.โ She brushed his cheek with her knuckles. โWhat would you say you feel? If you could process it? What would you create out of it? What shape would it take?โ+
Azriel fell quiet for a moment, his expression turning thoughtful as he turned her question over in his mind.
โHonestly?โ he said at last, voice softer now. โI donโt know. I havenโt really tried toโฆโ He trailed off, brow faintly furrowing as he searched for the right wordsโ
โAnd you shock me everyday.โ She said, against his skin. โYou composed? And you know how to waltz? Azriel.โ
She laughed, utterly impressed by him, almost not having the right words for what she wanted to say. โWhy? Why has it been so long?โ
Elain smiled, still tracing circles along his chest, noticing the shudder that went through him.
โThatโs what I mean. Youโre so responsible. And kind.โ She mumbled, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.+
Azriel let out a soft huff of amusement, a rare sound, but one she seemed to pull from him so effortlessly. โI donโt think that counts,โ he murmured, his voice low and warm. โThey were probably too drunk to even remember it.โ
He shuddered visibly when her lips brushed along his+
โSometimes, I canโt even imagine you drinking too much. Or partying, like the rest of them. Youโre soโฆyou.โ She laughed, softly.
โAnd then I remember how stubborn Cassian and Mor can be, and then itโs easier for me to picture.โ
Elain laughed at the idea of Cassian and everyone asking him to sing. โWait, so theyโve all heard you sing, but not me?โ She asked, looking up at him, pouting playfully.
โI would love to hear you sing.โ She whispered, pressing another kiss to his jaw, then his neck.+
Azriel listened to her with a smile, not just because of what she was sayingโthough the image of a younger Elain did warm something in himโbut because he simply loved hearing her talk. There was something about it that always put him at ease. And her laughโฆ soft, sweet, so herโ