Sh!tTrevorSays

Trevor says some stupid shit so let's share it with the twitterverse

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

You don't know what life is until you've had whisper sex in the suburbs. #Barhaven #ottawa

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I don't know if you've ever tried to listen to heavy metal and pee but let me tell you... its really hard to clean piss off the ceiling #SMD

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

Don't be ashamed to fart while you're peeing. Can't have rain without a little thunder #fart #pee #rain #thunder #LikeABoosterForYourStream

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

Why are cheese slices square but burgers round?😐

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I hate people that say "You need to do what you love" when it comes to jobs. I love eating pizza and masturbating but I don't see any Fortune 500 companies that are looking for a full time Pepperoni Puller. Someones gotta pay for that @Brazzers subscription... #ThanksForTheAdvice

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

"Keep your head high and your middle finger even higher" #FightNight #McGregorForever #FookYou

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I tried this new thing where I lowered my standards and upped the size. The number of women I can disappoint a week has risen dramatically. #NoStandards #CushionForThePushin #ChubbyChaser

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

You are what you eat. I guess that explains why I'm a pussy that is also an asshole sometimes... #RealMenEatTheBooty

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

Can someone please tell me these paint chips and this lock on the bathroom stall at my work doesn't look like @BradDelson from @linkinpark . I wonder why I always get Numb stuck in my head when pooping but I totally get it now... #LinkinPoop #LookALike #Twins

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

"She's about as useful as the 'G' in Lasagna"... #StupidPeoplePissMeOff #ShutUp #WhatDoYouEvenDo

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

Yeah Sex is great, but the look of regret on the women's face the next morning is better. The look when you call up your buddy to give her a ride home cuz you can't afford an Uber is even better. #OneNightStand #BrokeSexIsGreatSex #Uber #ImThatMistake

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I'm not an alcoholic, I just drink like one #Alcoholic #Drinks #Booze #IBlackoutForFun #DrunkMeIsAHappyMe

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I find it funny how I thought that I'd be married by 25. Here I am, 25, and I can't even commit to a 6month Netflix subscription... #Commitments #25 #AloneForever

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

#Facts

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

That presidential text is like getting an Amber Alert from the guy who did it

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I love how job applications always ask if I'm a person of a visible minority. Well I'm a white male in Canada, so YES! #SorryNotSorry #WhiteManProblems #Minority

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

That Moment When you really have to download a brownload and your Poop Shoes are nowhere to be found!😳😳#IfIPoopWearingJordansPeopleWillKnowItsMe #DressShoesAreTheBestShoesForPooping #007Pooper #IncognitoPooper

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

Do Vegans Spit or Swallow? #TheseAreTheQuestionsThatKeepMeUpAtNight #VeganOral #Semetarian?

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I've recently decided to start watching what I eat. Not like a diet or anything, just start staring at my food before I eat it like the fatty I am. #FoodPorn #StalkingTheSteak #FatKidProblems

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I don't know what I would do if I ever got a woman pregnant. I mean, I know what I would do but moving as far away as possible is fucking expensive... #Facts #UhOh #RealMenRunFasterThanUsainBoltFromTheirProblems #YouWouldMakeAGreatSingleMother #NeverWearACondom

[Sh!tTrevorSays @TrevorSaysShit]

I think we should start calling "Women's Rights" People's Rights to start being more inclusive. Oh you're a Feminist? No, you're a Bigot! #Feminists #Peoplist #Inclusive #FirstTweet