Captain

Fan account for the real Trevor Spitzley

[Catarina Senora Gatita @WyattCatarina]

It's that time again!! Porch pirates beware u comin in like the grinch u gonna leave like Papa Smurf 😅

[“paula” @paularambles]

there’s this guy on tiktok who video calls chatgpt, shows it objects, asks “how much gram,” then weighs them, and if chatgpt is wrong he puts his phone in the fridge where chatgpt is forced to chat with the condiments. roko’s basilisk is definitely making a note of this man.

[🕸️ @XPJHX1]

Idc if I get fired, Charlie Kirk had it coming

My name is Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and I work for the Oklahoma City Thunder

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Me: hey windows can you delete this file please

Windows: you got it, j-... omg there's actually a program using it right now

Me: omg who 😳

Windows: omg I can't say 🫣

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

I can’t get over this umps nutsack being absolutely terrorized in a little league baseball game. 3 times in 1 game. I mean come the fuck on

[Noah Ryan @NoahRyanCo]

Wake up and immediately look at small screen before clocking 8 hours behind medium screen. Take a few breaks to check in on small screen. Go home and spend a few hours staring at big screen to wind down before getting into bed and looking at small screen.

Living the dream.

[Willy The Wizard 🇱🇹 @dr_moonie]

It appears when everyone in the meeting is able to mute someone, its nearly impossible to track down who did it.

I shall take it upon myself... Overstep your boundaries...

And the Muting Man could strike again.

[Browningtons 📸 🫪 @Browningtons_]

Its 7/11/25, blessed date

[Captain @TrevorSpitzley]

@defn0tlala Top tier rage bait

[Jason Howerton @jason_howerton]

Since the pit bull debate is still raging in my mentions, I just want to say one last thing...

A family member had a pit bull "mix." I never felt comfortable with it. But I listened to the "he would never do that" lie.

That dog almost killed my son. I have a lot of guilt about this.

Listen to your gut. Do not back down. Protect your children from these savage beasts.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Yeah I know brushing your teeth at night is like a 2 minute low effort chore with enormous payoff but in a much more significant way it’s like being killed with 100 hammers

[Super Fan🇮🇪 @McGregorRousey2]

-No ducking
-No PED failures
-No drama
-No controversies

Just straight ass🔥

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I thought bro was doing a whole lot of nothing until I saw the paper float 😧

[WH @hastifliche]

Pulled up on the opps and let the shrink ray bark at em. they're fraternising with the insects now

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

BBC Wildlife Crew Broke the "No-Intervention" Rule to Save Trapped Penguins

[Captain @TrevorSpitzley]

@Next22Chapter Type shit

[G-PA @IndianaGPA]

Oh no he didn’t 🤣🤣🤣