Trixi May

• Wife • Fur & Future Human Mama •

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

HELL YES WE ARE

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Honestly, being preggers is just a constant struggle of settling for ice cream when all you really want is raw oysters & dirty martinis...

[Trixi May @Triximay]

If so, my family has been ruining the surprise for years.

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Also, aren't interventions supposed to be like a surprise party, celebrating all the things that are wrong with you?

[Trixi May @Triximay]

That means either A - I have really crappy insurance (I don't) or B - maybe it's time for that intervention everyone has been mentioning...

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Calculating my yearly spending & no lie.. I discovered I spent more on coffee this year, than car & medical insurance combined. 😳 ☕️

[ThingsFloridiansLike @Things4FLppl]

Weatherman: "A cold front will be bringing in lower temperatures this week"

First of all, it's 90 degrees in October

[Micky Bronco @DannyMontana68]

Florida Georgia Line - Lifer (Static Version) - YouTube @laurenmorhard https://t.co/C4yZ5oEf4P

[Trixi May @Triximay]

@Things4FLppl @tracimadeline

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Soooo Taylor killed her old self because she let the haters get to her? Uh... I'm so confused.

[Trixi May @Triximay]

I've been trying to befriend this girl at work (bc I have 0 friends out of college) & I just saw her vape in the parking lot..ABORT MISSION😩

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Things I learn while addressing envelopes... Family dynamics are weird.

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

Unless Channing Tatum goes to your gym, no one wants to hear about your workout.

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Packed Gushers in my fiancé's lunch today... I'm going to absolutely rock at this whole wife thing 💁🏼

[Trixi May @Triximay]

@bahightow 😭😂 Meanwhile... I'm going home to sit around and dye my own beer green.

[Trixi May @Triximay]

@bahightow Seriously... Like why can't I wear knee high "Kiss Me I'm Irish" socks to work?

[Trixi May @Triximay]

In college: wore head-to-toe green on St Patty's Day.... Year After College: drawing a green dot on my hand & socially getting away with it

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Down deposit day is THE most nervous day when planning a wedding... It's happening!!

[Trixi May @Triximay]

@FormerMrPick6 my best friend's hands are famous 😭❤

[Trixi May @Triximay]

Most cooperative crowd. Ever.