LOT Lizard

keep on trucking!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Having sex on a beach doesn't mean your crotch needs to smell like ocean!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

To my enemies I wish you the itch of a million pubic lice and arms to short to scratch!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

As I wave back to the hottie with the mullet, the flap of the skin under my arms echoes throughout the trailer park

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

I don't follow back freaks that post family pics and inspirational quotes. Gotta watch out for those freakos...

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

For the safety of my eyes I chew off my toenails! My cornea is still recovering from last months clipping!

[Miss Moneypenny @MoneypennyNaked]

There will always be people that no matter how much time they spend with you, will never know anything about who you really are.

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

@okidokigal I bet all that flax seed has exfoliated your bum on the way out!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

I was looking closely at your profile pic and I really think you should have that checked....

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Real Sex addicts even get a thrill by looking and how well hung the jackets are in the closet

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Relationship status: a dream catcher hanging in the rearview mirror my dentures on the passenger seat!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

I prefer sexy DM's than twitpics of your BM's ...

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

If I wanna date a guy I bring him to KFC to see the greasy glow he gets after eating fried chicken....

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Can someone who is gluten free really "pinch a loaf" ?

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

I thought when he offered me a Snapple he wanted some nipple play!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Today I feel like doing something wild! I wanna live life of the edge. I'll start by putting hand sanitizer on my paper cuts!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Awesome @danacarvey following me back! I bow in front of him " i'm not worthy, I'm not worthy! "

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

When I see someone with cracked mouth corners I assume they are shrimpers that went down hard on some athletes foot!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

If he says I suck in bed is that a compliment? I'm confused!!!

[LOT Lizard @TruckLizard]

Pubic lice are snug like a bug in a rug