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The only things the world needs are puppies, glitter, and cheese. Vote for me in 2016

[C @Turb_Burger]

@realDonaldTrump This just in: entire mathematics and science community voting to remove the number 45 from history. #udontexist #wishful

[C @Turb_Burger]

@realDonaldTrump *cough* alternative facts *cough*
#dontpeeonmyshoeandtellmeitsraining #sodumb

[C @Turb_Burger]

@realDonaldTrump @Nordstrom lol well she's clearly not trying hard enough #boybye #whoareyou #howareyourelevant

[C @Turb_Burger]

@POTUS @BarackObama BRING BO TO MMI WHEN YOU COME!!! Seriously, if all else fails, just bring Bo. Bring👏🏼the👏🏼first👏🏼pup👏🏼please

[C @Turb_Burger]

@POTUS @BarackObama bring Malia and Sasha! It'll be like career day and they can catch a glimpse at how cool behavior analysis is! #ABA ❤️ U

[C @Turb_Burger]

TBH, if @POTUS @BarackObama actually came to MMI today I'd probably start hyperventilating and have to sit in a corner to gather myself

[C @Turb_Burger]

@POTUS @BarackObama you can land #AirForce1 on our helipad across the street. No big deal

[C @Turb_Burger]

MMI-CASD thinks @POTUS @BarackObama is #DaBomba ! Come hang out with us! #deadserious #reinforceourkiddosbehavior

[C @Turb_Burger]

@JoeBiden @FLOTUS @WhiteHouse Come to MMI-CASD at UNMC today #DaBomba. ❤️🇺🇸 We'll give you a warmer welcome than @GovRicketts #acronyms

[C @Turb_Burger]

@POTUS we have so many adorable kids and great staff members who would love to meet you, but couldnt see you speak today! #DaBombaAdmin

[C @Turb_Burger]

@POTUS come to the Munroe Meyer Institute Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders after you speak at UNO!

[C @Turb_Burger]

Ugh. Girls take an unnecessary amount of time in the bathroom. Like get your shit together and pee!

[C @Turb_Burger]

Like Bo is on a podium barking words of wisdom while @POTUS Obama's voice translates over a recording #finestpolitics #funnestpolitics

[C @Turb_Burger]

What if @POTUS #daBomba rallied against animal abuse entirely behind the face of the First Dog?

[C @Turb_Burger]

Filo dough has made me its bitch 😓 #nomoreporfavor

[C @Turb_Burger]

Watching McFarland, USA with the roommates and Bernie says as seriously as he possibly could, "makes you want to move to south Omaha huh?"

[C @Turb_Burger]

Sheep pronounced edamame as edamahny so naturally I helped her out. Rather than thank me, she proceeds to call me a "difficult bitch"

[C @Turb_Burger]

"I don't even care if I'm lack toast intolerant"-Dal with drinking milk

[C @Turb_Burger]

#fuhrillthough Legolas was my sexual awakening