Turnpig

Copywriter, diver and sun worshipper. Taking a year out (at least!) of the UK. #FBPE

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@spikejp @mrjamesob Neither will be correct. It’s the Mail.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@__Samantha8 Temperature is about 25°C up in the north today. Very pleasant!

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@aaronsmith I remember the swim, but didn’t know the rest of Eric’s story. Thanks!

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@AlexSelbyB ‘Insensitively juxtaposed.’

FFS 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@trussliz @Telegraph I don’t know how you’ve got the nerve to stick your utterly gormless head above the parapet.

You tanked the economy; you’re a laughing stock; you put the cause of feminism back by about 30 years and your constituents binned you.

Do go sit in the corner and just be quiet.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@SkyNews @RishiSunak Taking a leaf out of the Boris Johnson dressing up box playbook, I see.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@InLimboV @Parody_PM It’s a UDI. Or a target.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@David_Cameron @RishiSunak Says the man who shafted the country then sat in a £25k shepherds hut to document his recollection of shafting said country. There’s a reason you’re not keen on talking about the past…so please put a sock in it.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@JaneyGodley Moving her bag to be a barrier. Creepy fuck.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@birdwoman1966 It’s about damage to reputation.

I think you’re safe.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@therealmissjo And that’s why vendors shouldn’t be allowed to write their own copy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

When she says ‘semi-moated’ - does she mean pond? #wanky

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@Bigshirtlesscol Oh Col, I’ve missed your potty mouth! You’ve not been showing up in my feed recently. You’re back. 🎉

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@JebraFaushay Ahhhh, I’m sorry for your loss.

In time, you’ll hopefully be able to console yourself that it’s the kindness we can do for them when they’re ready to go. 😔

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@squirrellovers_ Bryan

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@KarenMolliee It’s beautiful

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@GrandPrix_Paul @fesshole Finding somewhere convenient to poo when it looks like he’s got a membership paid, which means he can poo there at any time without recrimination or repercussion. Yep, that’s the one.

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@PADI I love them. They make really good photography subjects!

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@AbbeyReady2read Happy Birthday Abbey x

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@Matt_Pinner Still call it Twitter.

What are tweets under the new regime? Do they have a catchy new name too? 🤣

[Turnpig @TurnpigST]

@Biggreenbooks I’ve just sent you a tenner via PayPal and sent you a DM. Hope this is okay 😊