Scott Asher

I tell jokes

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@Mann100kit @FeverUpdate Hmm... she's on a 4yr/528k contract. Your math ain't mathin'

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@Hoopss Shaq, Timmy, KD, Kobe, Lebron

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

I'm rooting for Strickland... assuming gas prices will drop tomorrow if he wins. #UFC328

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@FastbreakHoops5 Brandon Roy

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@mspbra "Your DoorDash delivery is delayed"

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@TheNBACentel "Thiago, I don't want to pay for another flight and hotel. If you want that $1.1M next season, you'll do the right thing"

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@TheDunkCentral @jwquick Blazers getting DOGE'd

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@Eman_8282 Money in your account to turn the power back on

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@GamewithDave

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@WallStreetApes Pilot: "Uuuh, don't worry folks, that's just Kevin putting some Lemon Pepper on those Wings!"
<crowd cheers>

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@WallStreetApes Welcome to Spirit Airlines. We'll be departing for Las Vegas as soon as Kevin tapes the wing back on. Oh, and if this is your first flight with Spirit... good luck!

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@SouthDallasFood @mrmikeMTL This is the way!

[Zach Bollinger @zachbollinger18]

Never forget when they did this to Adley Rutschman in the regionals in college.

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@MbarkCherguia That's a pond. I'm from Earth.

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@HaterReport_ Themselves

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@YourAnonCentral America already invaded Europe. It's called Canada

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@chefsevenn Eggos

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@oelma__ He told you he was on a work trip, but he's in Vegas smoking and drinking and partying and gambling with a bunch of women

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@F0ODHub Type A's are also Type-2's

[Scott Asher @TweetAsher]

@Wisdom_HQ The From a Distance Sisters