Things that Caleb Tweets:

The statistical probability of my existence is roughly 1 in 10 to the power of 2,685,000. Regardless of anything else, I’m just happy to be here folks • he/they

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

“X” is the stupidest branding I’ve ever seen. Bring back the bird PLEASE

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

*Montreal*

CASHIER: bonjour

ME: oh! bonjour

CASHIER: qu'est-ce que je peux t'offrir?

ME: well it looks like the jig is up

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

@AriDrennen The reply pointing out how patiently this was being explained absolutely sent me

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

“Sorry, I can’t tell.. aRe YoU a BoY oR a GiRl??”

*remi tugs on my hair and makes my shoulders shrug*

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

@scottlindsay88 @s8n Tell me you watch too much lesbian porn without telling me you watch too much lesbian porn. Smfh

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

@NoContextHumans

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

Leave these good people alone, for fuck’s sake.

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

Kids don’t gaf about homophobia, they will roast you no matter who you love

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

pure annihilation

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

@aliahdomino I recently got really into a genre of music called “math rock”�� lots of crazy tempos and complicated melodies. It’s complex enough that my Wandering Mind™️ is fully occupied, but musically cohesive enough that I can sorta follow it without exerting much focus or attention.

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

I want to distill this attitude about high fantasy and write a whole series with this vibe.

Convoluted magic system with clearly defined rules and complex history? Sure.

Is my nose-picking, audience-reference-point, folk-hero protagonist an expert on any of it? Nah.

[ThelRaiser🏳️‍⚧️🦌👻 @EPM106]

Sam is far and away the most relatable LotR character because he couldn’t give less of a shit about the wider lore. He still calls the Nazgûl “Black Riders” right up until the end. Even after Aragorn tells him his name, he keeps calling him Strider.

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

@DynamoSuperX Legit had to double check the character selection after seeing this tweet because my brain said “there’s NO WAY Pauline isn’t already on the roster”

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

I’ve recently quit smoking and, as a result, there exists only two versions of Caleb at this time: jackass Caleb and tipsy Caleb.

If I spare you the former, please be patient with the latter. Thank you.

[kevin l. lee @Klee_FilmReview]

Speaking of Jurassic Park and Steven Spielberg, this shot goes so fucking hard.

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

You hold it in then blow up or snap.

Then you regret what you said and how you acted.

Here's Why You Might Be Avoidant:

[Sam Reich @samreich]

trying out one of those inspirational dance videos!

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Tears of the Kingdom looks so fucking stupid lol, play a game for adults

👤 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁
This user has been placed in no new video games timeout after his wife’s boyfriend caught him peeping through the keyhole during Mark and Carol alone time

[Things that Caleb Tweets: @Tweets_of_Caleb]

I’m the shittiest person I know.