Shit Tysoe Says

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Are the Brussel sprouts on this pizza? Oh no, they're meatballs.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

The ol' keg gift card trick. Still doesn't grease my wheels though.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

I'm pretty agreeable.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

I kinda want to put the phone away and live in the real world.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

The more I look at this LinkedIn pic, the more I think it's a keeper.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

You gotta have late people for entertainment. If everyone was early it'd be boring.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

You've seen me nail some parallel parks in Kits with all the boys in the car. 1 go, tight spot. Alright boys, get out. It's all feel.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

I'd consider myself one of the top 50 parallel parkers in Vancouver.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

I'm stuck here sitting with vegetable lasagna.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

She has the IQ of a tomato.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

If I took one snap at QB I'd probably break both my legs and get a concussion. And throw an interception.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Asked the lady ripping the out the staples on my ankle if they were the same as the ones in the office. They're not.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Oh man, that guy doesn't even know what a decimal is.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Hopefully it loosens up after tomorrow. I normally heal fast.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

It was turned sideways and when the ref saw it, he said "DEAR GOD KID IT'S BROKEN"

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

I'm dropping life advice.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Don't know where that'll get me. Might be living in my parents basement when I'm 30.

[Shit Tysoe Says @Tysoeisms]

Rule #1: Don't be a hero.