Gertie Cranor

Ugly Free Industry

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

White parent: "Can I come in?" , Black parent: "NIGG*H OPEN THE BLOODCLAUT DOOR, YOU AINT PAYING RENT!"

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

You took 20 minutes to text me back, i'm going to take 30 to reply to you, LIKE A BOSS.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say..

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Bad: Finding a penis drawn on your face, Worse: When you find out it was traced....

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Shoutout to the hoes that are showing ass & boobs in their twitcon and STILL can't get followers. Y'all hoes NEED a PLAN B.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Facebook says we are "Friends". But trust me, I would not hesitate to punch you in the face.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Please shut the FUCK up, if you're saying you don't like people in your business but you're still putting it all over the internet.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Want me to drink responsible? Make a Vodka brand named "responsible" & I will.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Why is it that the last 6% of my battery always lasts longer then the first 94% .... ?

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Instagram & Photoshop is an ugly girls bestfriend.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

White people: "hello, I would like to order..." Black people: "yeah, Let me get Uhhh! Hold up! * mumbles * WTF do I want?

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Best pick up line ever: I wasn't looking at your boobs, I was staring into your heart ;)

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

At what point in the night does my toothpaste switch flavours from "Minty Freshness" to "Open Ass.�

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

So you put "this is so ugly, dont hate" under your picture that you uploaded? WHY UPLOAD IT IF YOU THINK ITS "UGLY"?!?

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Thousands of people quit smoking every year .... by DYING.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Dear Spongebob, You live in Bikini Bottom and you are super absorbant. Face it, you are a tampon.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Screw an alarm system. I've seen "Home Alone", I know what to do.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

"Ladies first" was probably invented by a guy who just liked to check out asses.

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

"I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you told me to give you a ride home when the party was at your house"

[Gertie Cranor @UFIndustry]

Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double, & act single.