UMD Passouts

My professor didn't think I drank until I came to class sober. --DM your passouts

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

"where do you go to school"

"UMD"

"where"

"you know, where all the puck sluts attempt to date an NHL player"

"ohhhhhh"

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

Sometime's when I think I had a bad weekend, I look in the mirror and notice I don't have any hickey's on my neck😊

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

My family has been questioning my sexuality lately for never having a lady to bring back home for Christmas. Looking for candidates, must:

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

@AlexMoran_7 this man may have you beat for smoothest man on campus https://t.co/iWhyyJSpgY

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

Hey ladies, I recently lost my voice and I was hoping this would improvise. Check out my slay game and hmu if it works👀 #thirstythursday

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

"you're not going to remember this tomorrow" - 50% chance you won't remember it. 100% chance she's still trying to hookup with you #shhhh

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

@young_kennyy @jj_attreed keep it low key #butmaybehighkey

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

"Oh a girl with daddy issues? You gotta love a girl with daddy issues" #WhoSaidItFirst #WhatDatMoufDo

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

PSA:
-A slut is someone willing to have sex with anyone.
-A bitch is a slut willing to have sex with anyone, but you.
#TooManyBitches

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

UMD Counseling with JJ Attreed:
-Comes with tuition (no extra fees)
-Schedule appointments in my dms
-Location: Griggs A311
-Open 24/6

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

don't be fooled, he's not saying grace🙏🏽 #wwjd

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

Learn from Brandon's mistake and where he went wrong.....he took a 7 second pull from crown royal followed up by a 5 second pull of ronny d

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

Let's rewind to the day Connor's mom dropped him off at school and he looked her dead in the eyes saying, "I'm not drinking at college"

[JJ Attreed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸 @jj_attreed]

Gandhi once proclaimed, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and by the looks of this cut, my bench press should hit 315 by next week

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

The great Confucius once said, "the early bird gets the worm." For some odd reason, it looks like this bird got the floor. #UMDpassouts

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

Go out tonight, be safe, and make sure you get many pictures of your friends passed out #lovedrinkandprosper

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

Some girls drink,
Some girls smoke.
Welcome to UMD,
This girl is a joke.
#UMDpassouts

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

Mama thinks JJ drinks too much,
She prolly right,
He should prolly get his shit together,
But not tonight. #UMDpassouts

[UMD Passouts @UMDpassouts]

watch out lil bitch #UMDpassouts