Many people have asked how my children were able to memorize the Qur’an, so I thought I’d share our journey.
This is simply what worked for our family, and I pray it benefits someone.
Our children started memorizing the Qur’an from a very young age. They attended regular Tahfiz classes alongside their conventional schooling, just as many children do.
However, there came a point when my husband and I felt we needed to make a bigger commitment.
At the time, our eldest was in JSS 2, while the second had just completed primary school. We made the difficult decision to withdraw them from the conventional school system and enroll them in a full-time Tahfiz programme.
It wasn’t because we didn’t value western education. On the contrary, education has always been important in our family. Both my husband and I hold PhDs, and some of my friends couldn’t understand why someone with my educational background would choose this path for her children. They would ask, “After all your education, why would you do this?”
My answer was always the same: In shaa Allah, they can also earn a PhD one day. But before any academic qualification, I want them to have a PhD in the fear of Allah 😄
If they know Allah, understand His Book, and build their lives upon it, then every other form of knowledge becomes much easier to pursue. As a parent, that foundation also makes my own work much easier.
Once we made that decision, we became fully committed to the process.
Their Tahfiz school began around 6:00 a.m. and usually ended around 6:00 or even 7:00 p.m., after Maghrib.
It was an intensive programme, but the school itself was very organised.
They had a structured curriculum with clear memorization targets, so we always knew what each child was expected to complete within a given period. That structure made it easier for us to monitor their progress and support them at home.
The school also played its part. If a child fell behind, they provided additional support. During Ramadan and some special periods, selected children would even stay overnight at the school for extra revision and memorization. Their teachers were genuinely invested in helping every child succeed.
Our responsibility as parents began when they returned home.
Every day, we woke them up about an hour before Fajr for revision. Those quiet moments before dawn became one of the greatest blessings in their memorization journey.
When they returned from school in the evening, they ate, freshened up, rested briefly, and then around 8:30 p.m., their home mallam arrived. For about an hour, he revised and tested everything they had learned that day before they went to bed to prepare for the next morning.
We also tried to eliminate unnecessary distractions. Television was almost nonexistent in our home. Sometimes we went as long as six months without renewing our subscription. My husband and I were never really television people, so this wasn’t difficult for us. The younger children had tablets for age-appropriate cartoons, but those in Tahfiz had very limited screen time.
Although we withdrew them from conventional school, we didn’t neglect their academic education. Fridays were free, so we employed a lesson teacher who came every Friday morning to teach Mathematics, English and Science.
Interestingly, our lesson teacher was a Christian. After some time, he said something that has stayed with me. He told us, “Whatever you people are doing must be a brain booster because these children are exceptionally good with their assignments.” That was reassuring because it confirmed that memorizing the Qur’an had not hindered their academic development. If anything, it had strengthened their discipline, concentration and ability to learn.
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Falling in Love and Raising Children Might Just be closest feeling to Heavenly realms while on earth.
When He said Daddy i want a Baby Bicycle, every DAD in the Universe felt it.
Parenting is God's gift to Humanity. A chance to be a creator too.
"Maybe the parent was emotionally manipulative, abusive, dismissive, narcissistic, or just constantly absent when it mattered most!"
Maybe "parent" was just a title and not something they lived up too...
NB: This is written and posted with permission for readers to learn
Recently, two Muslim sisters shared deeply painful experiences with me. In one case, a woman endured nearly two decades of her husband's repeated infidelity, repeatedly treating infections she contracted after marital relations with him. Financial dependence and concern for her daughters kept her in the marriage despite the emotional and physical toll. Eventually, it became evident that her husband was deeply involved in an illicit relationship with another woman. He later claimed he intended to marry her as a second wife, but by then he had already transmitted HSV to his wife through his continued infidelity.
In another case, a young wife has repeatedly contracted sexually transmitted infections from her cheating husband, who also refuses to use protection despite the obvious medical risks. These are not merely marital disputes; they are matters of life, health, trust, and human dignity.
Islam does not permit a spouse to endanger the life or health of the other. One of the higher objectives (Maqāṣid) of the Sharīʿah is the preservation of life and lineage. A husband who knowingly exposes his wife to sexually transmitted infections through adultery commits a grave sin and an act of oppression. A wife in such circumstances has every right to protect herself from further harm. If there is a credible risk of infection because of proven infidelity, she is justified in refusing sexual relations until genuine repentance has occurred, appropriate medical evaluation and treatment have been completed, and the danger has been removed. This is not disobedience; it is self-preservation, and the Sharīʿah does not require a person to submit to preventable harm.
There are important lessons here for our sisters, and indeed for our entire community:
1. Strive for financial independence through lawful work, skills, or business. While a husband is obligated to provide maintenance, having your own source of income can protect your dignity and expand your choices in difficult times.
2. Build lawful savings and assets. Islam recognises a woman's independent financial ownership. Do not surrender that right out of misplaced sentiment.
3. Never normalise or excuse infidelity. Adultery destroys trust, families, and health. It should be confronted with wisdom, accountability, and sincere repentance, not silence.
4. Do not remain in a harmful marriage solely because of societal pressure or fear of raising children alone. Children are better served by a safe and dignified environment than by witnessing persistent abuse and betrayal.
5. Value your life and your health. People's opinions will not bear your pain, pay your medical bills, or answer before Allah on your behalf. Your life is an amānah (trust) from Allah and deserves protection.
This advice is not an invitation to hastily dissolve marriages. Islam encourages reconciliation where there is sincere repentance, justice, and reform. But reconciliation cannot be built on persistent deception, repeated infidelity, and the continued exposure of an innocent spouse to serious harm. Marriage is founded upon tranquillity, mercy, fidelity, and mutual protection, not exploitation and abuse.
Now that my mutuals are back,
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When a husband is repeatedly found to be engaging in extramarital sexual relationships, the Sharīʿah recognizes the wife's right to protect herself from harm. She may refuse sexual intercourse and related intimate acts until there is clear evidence of sincere repentance, a complete cessation of the misconduct, and, where necessary, appropriate medical evaluation and treatment.
This position is consistent with the higher objectives of the Sharīʿah (Maqāṣid al-Sharīʿah), which seek to preserve life, faith, lineage, and human dignity. A spouse is not required to expose themselves to avoidable physical, emotional, or spiritual harm in the name of marital rights. Rather, marriage in Islam is built upon trust, fidelity, compassion, and mutual responsibility, and when these are seriously violated, the harmed spouse has legitimate rights to safeguard their well-being while genuine reform takes place.
Seeing the gratitude of four daughters toward their mother made me reflect.
They had just been called to the Bar, and in their appreciation, they celebrated the woman who stood by them throughout the journey.
It reminded me of something.
Marriage may not always last, but parenthood never ends.
Even when two people are no longer together, their responsibility to their children remains.
As men, we should strive to be present fathers, whether the marriage works out or not. Being present isn't just about providing financially. It's about offering guidance, love, support, and being part of your children's journey.
One day, our children will tell the story of how they got to where they are.
May we live in such a way that our names are remembered with gratitude, not because we were perfect, but because we chose to be present when it mattered most.