Uncle CJ's Lap

Killing Time until Time returns the favor. Artificially flavoured.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

You can't buy tacos with Favs, RTs, or Followbacks, so unclench & try to enjoy yourself.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#TextsFromBeyondTheGrave Your masturbation game is weak. The family's getting bored while we watch. Please change it up.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

@KPCC References to the "bystander effect" will forever bring the murder of Kitty Genovese to my mind. Maybe it's not the best reference point for a pledge drive?

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

@unrulyian It's past time for me.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter Larry

[🇨🇦~Canadian Lass Kinda~🇨🇦 from #NovaScotia ! @hgmackinnon]

Not everyone passed grade four spelling.
#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter
@SotallyToberHTs

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter Proper spelling is an afterthought.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

It's OK. I'm a piece of shit. I know that. My absence will rarely be missed.

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter apostrophe genocide

[DM @patchdennizen]

#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter
that the comma is an extinct beast

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#ThingsIHaveNoticedOnTwitter words, many misspelled and/or misused

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

Birthday protocol complete. Thanks extended. End protocol initiated.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

I guess i'm a single issue voter now and the single issue is not putting babies in cages

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

Among the things I like about @Voltron is that the opening sequence music seems to have been designed with 5.1+ audio in mind.

[The Dodo @dodo]

This couple adopted a gorgeous deaf dog and taught him sign language. Then they realized dogs like him had no chance of surviving in shelters and decided to save them all 💜 (via @DeafDogsRock)

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

Cardi B isn't some sort of workout cult?

[Uncle CJ's Lap @UnderCJ]

#TheHustleIsRealWhen the disco starts playing

[Kat Klingensmith @KattFunny]

#StupidQuestionsForMarriageCounselors
Do you mind if I read her private texts outloud?

[oorannob @jvbt82hhs]

Do those jeans make her look fat? #StupidQuestionsForMarriageCounselors

[Rosa Pasquarella @whatrosasaid]

God, I miss Chicago.