Sargent

Spite Magazine

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

Poop is a mysterious substance that no one understands.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

In the boardroom the older guys are in charge but in the bathroom the younger dudes become more dominant

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

A freaking Sloppy Joe

[Julie @JulieLovesFluff]

ARFID isn't real, it's just bad parenting. My friends son supposedly has ARFID but ate a freaking Sloppy Joe and asked for seconds at my house because everyone else was happily chowing down and his mom had forgotten his "safe food cooler" at the house and left to get it. Just served him like everyone else and told him no pressure, but this is all we have I'm not making anything extra we can wait on your mom and he ate.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

New Study Shows New Chinese AI “SPITE Personas” Has The Most Activated God Consciousness Of Any Model ‼️🚨More than US or Britain

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

You would think that the obvious choice from birth would be to be a white hipster. The numbers tell a different story, since most people choose to be Chinese.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

The concept of being “fine” made me think about sex

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

Since the dawn of time, the butt has been widely considered to be the source of poop.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

If you’re impure at home and just minding your own business, it’s no big deal.

It’s only a problem if you decide you want to go to the sanctuary.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

Can I have delulu-coded girl dinner?
You can say no 🥺

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

This is idiotic and sad

The human brain runs on 20 watts of power

DNA has an information storage density 10^13 times greater than a hard drive, stable for 1000s of years, self replicating, self error checking

“Meat” is the most sophisticated technology in the known universe

[Vivian Midha Shen @vivianmshen]

i think about this story often now

we're all just meatbags

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

The thing I respect the most about single mom is that her dad wasn’t gay

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

The hard thing about having a single mom is that you don’t respect her

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

BREAKING: FBI concluded Jeffrey Epstein was not running a s-x trafficking ring for powerful men, new files show, per AP.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

I play rocket league in my head while taking the customer’s orders every day without putting a robotic worm in my skull

[DogeDesigner @cb_doge]

Neuralink patients are literally playing games just by thinking.

No controllers. Just the mind.

We are living in the future and it’s kind of amazing.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

iPad, activate the new feature.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

At parties people tend to use slang.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

I’m fat and I poop everywhere

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

@quasimatt If he's in Dimes Square on Thanksgiving he's destined for a dark and tortuous thirties

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

I’m on probation for stealing a million dollars from a homeless woman.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

We could go mom for mom —
Fuck that, we could go dad for dad.

[Sargent @UnironicallyAlt]

"Mamdani" kind of sounds like "mom-daddy", probably because he is the androg mother/father figure all of us artists who left home never knew we needed, lol.