A.l.o.n.e🍃

A calm mind is a true luxury

[Caleb_Xo✳️ @EriwaBoy]

"How lucky are you"?

Me:

[Kijana ya Misa🇰🇪 @kijana_misa]

Jeff Koinange is about to make some of us start watching the news again.😂

Jeff Koinange: Let me ask you this. Since you're opening up about this facility in Nanyuki, and given all the controversy surrounding it, would you allow Citizen TV to film there so Kenyans can see what it's really like? Or is it top secret?

CS Aden Duale: That's something you would need to write to me about.

Jeff: Come on, I'm asking you formally on live television.

Duale: For your own safety and public safety, access to all our facilities follows a procedure. We can facilitate a visit, but you would first need training and preparation to cover such a story.

Jeff: So when can we go? There's no ongoing operation right now. We can simply film the facility and show the country what's there.

Duale: I can take you to Kenyatta.

Jeff: I don't want to go to Kenyatta. I want to go to Nanyuki.

Duale: What's the difference between Kenyatta and Nanyuki?

Jeff: The facilities in Nanyuki are supposedly for the Americans and other foreigners.

Duale: They're not there.

Jeff: Then let me go and see for myself.

Duale: If you want to see how prepared our facilities are, you don't need to go very far. Just walk to Kenyatta.

Jeff: You're being very opaque.

[DJ KROWBAR @DJKrowbar]

When our parents used to say, "Weka news inchi inaweza kuwa inauzwa."

Today, That line is not a joke anymore.

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@georgediano Powerstar is the cheapest

[Veloria 🌊 @veloriahq]

“𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘴.”

— 𝘈𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘣

[Eric Muriuki @Benign_Overlord]

Never heard of a leader importing a plague for his people. Maajabu!

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

A country where patients share beds is claiming that it can handle Ebola.

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@Kibet_bull Shameful ❕️❕️❕️❕️

[Sholla Ard 🇰🇪 @sholard_mancity]

Mr Speaker Sir 🙋‍♀️,

Since State House is a "protected area", I propose that the US-imported Ebola patients be quarantined there so they can also be prayed for by our national healer, the one who once turned dirty water into Dasani.

That way, if anything goes wrong, the rest of the country will remain safe because the area is heavily protected.

As many as are of that opinion say “Aye.”

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@KijanayaKabras Tafta kazi ufanye wachana na maisha ya watu

[Kijana ya Misa🇰🇪 @kijana_misa]

Me and other dancers receiving Ebola patients at the JKIA😂

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@GrowSmarter_x The killer too the weapon to kill

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@ivymuthe I guess ukiona uchafu hukua kwa tanks hutatumia tena

[🍂 @Lovandfear]

Sometimes as a woman you don't understand whether you are hormonally sad, menstrually sad, ovulationally sad, seasonally sad or actually sad

[Nduko™ @nduko__]

"Aliskia wezi huchomwa na mafuta akapandisha bei"

[figures ⚕ @figxres]

i’m dead. 💔

[Captain Dominic Omondi @CaptainDominicO]

Sad story 😫

A man in Nyeri has fainted after realising that his mother-in-law is also the mother of the wife he was marrying 😌

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

@CaptainDominicO The story is not adding up

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

Basi mnisongee kwa hizo relationship zenyu

[A.l.o.n.e🍃 @user_plus01]

Siamini ni mimi Genz wanaita millennial na nilikua 15 juzi tu 😄