Ted Craighead

Force-feeding from the high-fructose information trough.

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@DasVril Hey man just popping in real quick to say I’m glad your dad is still dead and I hope the grief is still eating away at you physically and emotionally. Later

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@louishoulbrooke Licking the boots of a dead billionaire ain’t gonna get you on the will, Louie

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@DasVril Bet he domed himself to escape the torment of having a loser like you as his kid. Eat shit

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@BurpReynolds60 @philipaklein Lmao you are dumb as hell. Just really fucking stupid. Incredible

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@JeffFlake Shut the fuck up — literally zero people give a shit about what you have to say

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@TweetThisBabe @Heminator Why do you hate the second amendment lady? You want to confiscate guns now?

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@SonOfGodAndMan @KrangTNelson

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@bmrow but cmon it was really pretty at least

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@bmrow true. I just like everything I watch in theaters because I only go like 4 times a year lol

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@C_M_Marlowe @AoDespair @15colleen Man fuck off with your debate club spellcasting. An innocent man was murdered in his own home and you smugly tally FallacyPoints as if you have something meaningful to say.

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

Rest in Piss John Mcann

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

A cool trick to do to your liver is to trick it into going into ketosis or whatever, then pour booze on top of it and make it work overtime.

Anyway I’ve lost 13 pounds and get dizzy in ways I never have before

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@jimpjorps [holding open laptop with one hand, empty shopping cart in other] but...bopis...

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@GossiTheDog @ButtCoin lol this is so fucked

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@PFTompkins Last time I JJ’ed was in a South Korean airport, traveling internationally with a friend. My drink made me so angry that I arbitrarily blurted out, “I will not have another Jamba Juice for 15 years.”

Only a decade to go before I can be disappointed again!

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

Beware the ides of the Vape Apocalypse

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

Reading Damon Runyon shorts on my phone in-between bouts of losing my shirt(s) at roulette

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

Damon Runyon short stories are extremely my shit

[Ted Craighead @VariousDetritus]

@SenatorIsakson Then do something about it binch