I don’t think people realise how much of your personality can disappear when you don’t feel emotionally safe around someone. I become quieter. More careful with my words. Less playful, less expressive, less willing to let myself be seen. You’ll still know me. You’ll still recognize my face, hear my voice, and know the basic version of who I am. But you won’t know the version of me that comes out when I feel completely safe. The loud, silly, affectionate, unfiltered version that doesn’t have to think twice before being herself. What looks like a change in personality is simply a person becoming smaller because they no longer feel safe enough to be fully themselves.
I saw someone comment on an IG video: “Victims talk about the trauma. Abusers talk about the person.”
Couldn’t have said it better. The person who was hurt talks about what happened. The person who caused the harm often focuses on discrediting who they hurt. Let that sink in.
Real love is when two people really choose each other and stand on it. You don’t have to keep asking for effort, wondering where you stand, or guessing if they still care. They make time, they communicate, they stay solid, and they don’t switch up when life gets real. That’s the type of love I respect. The kind you can actually feel without having to keep asking for it.
A lot of people claim they want a mature and peaceful partner until they realize peace requires real accountability, honesty, and self reflection. They do not want peace. They just want control.
It has to be some kind of cruel joke to survive childhood trauma and grow up hopeful that you'll meet someone who helps you build the family you've always wanted - but instead,
you end up having to survive him too.
The urge to mute the noise, disappear without a word, walk until the world grows quiet, and leave every expectation behind. Not because you hate people, but because sometimes your soul craves the kind of silence that no conversation can ever give.
love is not measured by how someone treats you when everything is going well. it is revealed by how they stand beside you when life tests you, when you are struggling, and when you have nothing to offer but your presence.
When asked why she’s happy single, she replied: “A man in your house isn’t the same as a man of the house.”
One occupies space sleeping in your bed, eating your meals, and enjoying your care. The other builds with you protecting, providing, and sharing the load.
She won’t settle for someone who just exists in her life. She waits for a true partner one who matches her effort, values her dreams, and strengthens her world, not just inhabits it.
Until then, she’s whole on her own, the unwavering woman of her own house.
Do most truly grasp the difference between presence and partnership?
I'm not clearing up my side of the story. You believed what they told you so easily without thinking about any other possibility. Keep to yourself. Stay the f*ck away from me and my peace.
Respectfully.
Do not talk about discernment if you cannot recognise when someone needs compassion more than criticism and correction. There is a time to guide and a time to simply hold space for a person who is hurting. Wisdom knows the difference. And kindness knows it even faster.
How to lose me:
1. seen
2. ignored
3. left on read
4. last priority
5. online but not replying
6. only texting when needed
7. late replies
8. broken promises
"Normalize putting your girlfriend over your friends because you're building a future with her, not with your friends. They have their own families and their own lives. But your girlfriend on the other hand will become your family. So treating her like a priority is basically bare-handed."
I'm a big fan of reciprocation.
You reach out, I reach out. You're distant, I'm distant.
You check on me, I check on you. You're inconsistent, Im inconsistent. You spoil me, I'm gonna spoil you. I deal with people exactly how they deal with me. Nothing more noting less <3