I’m now realising I’m not actually falling in love. I just get intensely attached for a while, make someone the center of my world, romanticise everything about them and convince myself this has to be my person. Then they leave and I completely fall apart. I spend weeks or months missing them, replaying everything, wondering what went wrong and feeling like I’ll never feel that way about anyone again. Until someone new comes along. Then suddenly I’m interested again. The sadness fades. The last person becomes a distant memory and I start the whole cycle again. Maybe I’m not falling in love as much as I’m becoming attached to the feeling of having someone to focus all my emotions on. Maybe the pattern isn’t that I keep losing the right people. Maybe I keep mistaking intensity, obsession and attachment for love and I’m finally starting to notice the difference.