but i still get upset with them on the inside, it it makes me feel like a horrible friend. it consumes my whole mood i dont know why i cant just get over it and think about something else
im also so left behind. i feel like a stupid stray dog just following people around. my friends have jobs and cars and they do good in school and im just a fucking faliure. im stuck im trapped in my house all the time and theres nothing i or anyone can do about it i hate this
im constantly thinking about it and asking my friends for help and when they cant fix it and all they say is "oh thats really sucky" i just get sad for hours about it. but what are they supposed to say?? theyre not supposed to handle my problems for me or have a solution,
im so sick of complaining about the same thing over and over again to my therapist too. i want things to change so incredibly bad but there's seriously nothing i can do. but i keep going to people to find a solution anyway, even though i know there isnt one.
every time i'm at my boyfriends house i feel annoying the whole time im there because theres this feeling that makes me so upset and i cant even explain it or know the reason behind it, especially when i have to leave i have to hold back tears every time. i don't want to go home.