tanrak screaming in the water isn’t just a breakdown. it’s him drowning in the conflict between the love he found & the faith he was raised with. the love he chose makes him feel like he’s betraying everything he prayed for. 💔
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Tanrak is not actually afraid of God judging him. I’ve been thinking about this for a few episodes, and Javi mentioned it too in his reaction to episode 5. I wanted to share it here to add on to what he said.
Tanrak does not hide his relationship from God. He stores every meaningful thing that Barth gives him in his personal
Bible, and yes, that might be a safe place where no one would look, but it's also a sacred object. He also lends Barth his rosary, a sacred object he uses to pray to God. He tells Barth he will pray for his mom. He plays the piano with Barth in front of the God is always watching signs. He does all these things with the belief that God sees everything.
When he tells Barth he is tired, scared, and not happy, those feelings come from the environment he is in. It’s not his relationship with Barth that’s the source of his anxiety. It's also not from his relationship with God, because in that same scene he was planning to go pray to God for help.
So in the final scene of episode 5, when Barth says, “God teaches us to love, but we are not allowed to love each other; then what’s the point of having a God in this world?” Tanrak is convinced by that message easily because he already believes, deep down, that God would be okay with their relationship. So, going into the next episode, I think we are going to see Tanrak start to reflect on how his faith in God and religion and relationship with the church are different, and which one he needs to keep with him.
According to Phi Aof, there are favorite scene that he choose
EP.1 Cross falling “A memorable first appearance”
EP.2 Eating roti “Flawless performance”
EP.3 Barth sneaking to see Tanrak at the bed —“Who could even resist this?”
EP.3 Shower scene —l “A powerful performance that feels hard to breathe”
EP.3 Confession behind the door “Come out of the closet”
EP.4 Secret meeting behind the altar “A denial that is not really a denial”
EP.4 Pre-song scene “A song that fits the character perfectly”
EP.5 Mattress storage room “One-take perfection”
EP.5 Tanrak separating from his friends in the cinema room “Lost among people”
EP.5 Tanrak burning the letters, then meeting his father “Shattered
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the part "what about you? didnt you ever love me at all?" was improvised by gemini because he felt like tanrak already made a decision and will not choose him, he can feel barth's fear tanrak will leave him and thats how the dialogue come out 😭
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