Sees 67-year-old Madonna on the World Cup halftime: “Couldn’t they get someone more culturally relevant in 2026?”
Sees the 71-year-old Muppets come on screen: “Hell yeah.”
There’s a cult hiding beneath the earth that has existed since the fall of the Roman Empire who has been systematically destroying any chances of me having this; from making short haired tomboys into lesbians and making muscle cars expensive and shittier, all because they hate me
Years ago, an enterprising young lady offered to blow me in the park for £20. She'd gone when I got back from the cash point. Have carried £20 in cash every since whenever I leave the house