The Washington Wick

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[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Man Who Legally Can’t Drive Amazed By How Affordable Gas Prices Are

“We’re going to get it even lower. The war will end again, and prices will tumble. But already, they’re so good. People are thrilled. They love paying at the pumps for Trump.”

https://t.co/sEv1c3GZLu

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Children Form Armed Militias After Multiple Reports of Murderous Moms

“Whenever mom walks down the hall carrying an unusual amount of laundry or starts sighing heavily, my brother and I take up defensive positions behind the bunk beds."

https://t.co/7X5TEZ8bqE

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Annoying Father of Epstein Victim Still Won’t Shut Up About Client List

“If they want me to shut up, they’d better start telling the truth.”

https://t.co/MYunJP3NAg

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Young Americans Increasingly Afraid to Come Out to Parents as Pro-Iran-War

“This is a different kind of closet than what gay people claim to live in. My parents will actually disown me.”

https://t.co/7MI1kC1V5l

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Using Fuel Rewards Starves Our Greatest Ally. Here’s Why Americans Should Stop

“American dollars are fueling this fight. We can’t bomb schoolchildren using fuel perks.”

https://t.co/S90YkmPbTB

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Ben Shapiro Spotted at Local Hospital Having Foot Surgically Removed From Mouth

“We believe by having this surgery, we’ll see a sharp increase in viewership for Shapiro’s show and, by extension, support for Israel.��

https://t.co/60isJvqCUl

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Committee to Rewrite Israel’s History Forms in Preparation for New Texas Law

"The ultimate goal of education is preparing American students to become productive, obedient participants in the global economy."

https://t.co/lCCa9c2wsj

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Ed Sheeran Instructed to Remain Silent on Sydney Sweeney Controversy

“I mean, I like sports, and I like women, but Robert Kraft asked me not to weigh in.”

https://t.co/cd4MwiBEER

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

AOC Says She Was Laughing at Mamdani’s Charlie Kirk Joke, Not 9/11 Victims

“Laughing at victims of such a violent tragedy would be heartless. Zohran was making a joke about Charlie Kirk’s assassination that caught me off guard.”

https://t.co/pRKLotOPkU

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Donald Trump Offers Free Tank of Gas if Republicans Win in November

“Nobody’s ever given the country a tank of gas before. Obama didn’t. Nobody did.”

https://t.co/psVQ1tgOxj

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Bin Laden Family Fears Release of 9/11 Files Will Tarnish Osama's Legacy

"We don't have a lot. Our entire family's legacy depends on claiming those attacks."

https://t.co/Arxi1gBOkZ

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Al Qaeda Still Refuses to Take Responsibility for WTC Building 7

“You think we had the budget for that kind of precision? That’s American-level work.”

https://t.co/i2fbGW67n2

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

TikTok Now Prohibits Users From Mentioning September 11 Terrorist Attacks

"If you're posting about 9/11 with good intentions, you should see your content restored later this week."

https://t.co/KNr8hyCwVF

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Devastating. Researchers Claim WTC Building 7 Collapsed Due to Emotional Trauma

“Building 7 was like the quiet sibling who kept to itself but felt everything deeply. When it saw the towers go down, it just gave up.”

https://t.co/U19WeUJt7m

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Unemployment Rates Surge as Employers Fire Staff for Celebrating Charlie Kirk's Assassination

"People need to be more cautious and less retarded online."

https://t.co/Vtvx1JEHYn

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Charlie Kirk Launches Turning Point Heaven Chapter, Skies Shift from Blue to Red

"Charlie came up, immediately entered without questioning at the gates, and started working.”

https://t.co/bpzrzxE3ik

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Trash Company Hires Democrats Fired for Celebrating Charlie Kirk’s Death

"These people are a perfect fit for the culture we promote at our company.”

https://t.co/FVEsHsgqX4

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Trump Officially Cancels Labor Day, Orders America Back to Work Midday

“This many days off is a luxury the American people haven't earned.”

https://t.co/j6t8X6oeJl

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Lindsay Clancy Tells Fans She’s Ready for More Children

“I was always meant to be a mother. That does not change because of one bad afternoon.”

https://t.co/AzOev072u9

[The Washington Wick @WashingtonWick]

Economists Recommend Making More Money to Avoid Financial Hardships

“Poverty is a choice, and these people are choosing to be poor. If the job does not cover groceries, rent, and a tank of gas, the correct response is a different job.”

https://t.co/IxInt2hgee