Justin

I make shows, art, and
Comedy Baseball! former sylvan boy
@trashedbros
rip @pianofight

[Justin @WayToGomes]

"I AM NOT A TREE!"
"Aight, what's your name?"
"TREEBEARD!"

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Singing the hits in the car with my daughter and I don't know why I was ever self conscious about my voice, body, or anything.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Trump is obsessed with dictator terminology.

He's established a border CZAR.
He wants to make Elon a DOGE.

What's next? A military JUNTA?

[Justin @WayToGomes]

You know when you're sitting alone in an empty bus and then some random tweaker shows up and sits right next to you? That's what having a kid is like.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Eugene has it's own scent. Similar to how Paris did. Like a sewer with a ton of roses growing to cover it up.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

The biggest reason that I haven't produced a show in the foothills yet is that every time I talk to a local layperson about comedy they immediately respond with "Oh yeah I love comedy, I listen to Kill Tony all the time."

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Just watched a turkey jerk off on some sandals. Real cool life up here in the hills.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

I'm worried that the way I view bigoted homophobic/racist old men is how young people will look at my generation when some of them get mad that people are marrying robots in 30 years.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Between sipping on that sweet Hetch Hetchy and breathing in the ocean breeze I stumble on my memories and know that I love this city like family.
#SF

[Justin @WayToGomes]

@SICKOFWOLVES ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR and GRRRROOOWWWLLLLLLLL

But polite.

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Why am I just seeing this!!! 🔥🔥🔥

[anti-zionist dog 🇵🇸 @puppydog_gaming]

BREAKING: White House doctors are reporting that Joe Biden has split into one 41 year old with lifelink and one 41 year old with dementia

[jamie loftus 🌭 @jamieloftusHELP]

being home with family is humbling, like they really do think you are the stupidest person to ever be born

[Justin @WayToGomes]

In the hospital r/n and the amount of excited nurses and Dr's being hushedly excited and looking at there phones is pretty cool

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

I've had bird flu for a week but shhh we don't have bird flu in California.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

Had a dream where an open mic host bumped me because I was going to use pyrotechnics and they said it was "childish".

In other words, I can remember my vivid dreams and my body seems to have purged all the THC from it.

[Justin @WayToGomes]

@mattlieb