Emily

what is the freaking problem your honor? vivamus moriendum est

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

Such a cool dude wow

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

someone throw me in a snowbank

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

can’t wait to get married so i can celebrate my divorce

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

@TheRealJayGlus4 censorship at its finest 😚 where do we goooooooo

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

i thought we had 30 minutes

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

mark lizardburg will not be getting my data either! or elen! my journal is gonna H A T E to see me comin’

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

@TheRealJayGlus4 i wanted to save more
of my saved videos 😔

[Nick "Meatball" Pendolino @nickpendo]

After years of stealing Christmas from the Whos, The Grinch was gunned down in downtown Whoville. Sources say that the gunman left bullet casing with the words “Stink”, “Stank”, and “Stunk” etched into them. Max the dog has yet to be accounted for

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

i didn’t scrub my baseboards before people came over last night, and I am SHOCKED to report that I didn’t burst into flames and everyone was actually okay and nobody cared

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

and the relief we would feel seeing that we actually were ready 15 minutes early instead of being 45 minutes late, exhilarating.

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

sometimes, after daylight savings had first ended, my family would forget to set the clocks back - and we would just leave it like that for a few days because when we had to be somewhere, we would look at the clock and feel super rushed to get ready, but my family is always late.

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

some of yall need to go back to elementary school and do some Drops in the Bucket worksheets because your critical thinking skills are minimal

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

people who ignore their own feelings will in fact neglect yours

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

fool and full are l i t e r a l l y the SAME word, i simply cannot pronounce them differently

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

i’ve never sat down and watched any movie in The Mummy series start-to-finish, but i have passively watched each one ~19 times while l did other things

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

look, i don’t follow everyone i follow as a follower… i follow as a hater too

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

i’ve started saying “i wish we could/i wanna smoochie” as a term of endearment, but it does not in fact mean i want a kiss on the lipsky

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

life has been such a let down since younger me found out you don’t in fact get your whole salary as a lump sum on January 1st

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

my bf has been telling everyone about the uvm lobotomy clinic

he misheard his doctor, there is a phlebotomy clinic

[Emily @WeibelEmily]

happy june! post your may😇🌺

[Nick "Meatball" Pendolino @nickpendo]

They found microplastics in YOUR balls. They found macro ones in mine. Sorry I’m built different