alyssa welfringer

copywriter in CA + freelance instagram caption writer for 99¢ to my venmo: @alyssawelfringer

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

me: becomes an adult, gets my own adult insurance through my adult job

my insurance: dental coverage is only for children under 18

🙃

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

real (achievement) recognizes real (milk) 🤍 @gotmilk

Twitter Shares Examples of Top Agency-Originated Ad Campaigns from 2021 https://t.co/Go8Ee9veHE via @socialmedia2day

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

what’s the bigger problem? IG & FB being down?? or me still trying to open the apps every 20 minutes????

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

rewatching Desperate Housewives really has me in the mood to sip from a mug on the sidewalk and give out knowing stares to my neighbors

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

1/10 it’s almost off, just scoop it to the side and go

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

Met Gala outfits, but ranked by how hard it would be to use the bathroom

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

3/10 looks tight, but the zipper goes pretty far down so he’s chillin

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

@gotmilk Should I get bangs??

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

In a way we’re all brands on twitter

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

idk if I’m getting uglier or if my phone’s front camera quality is getting better

[got milk? @gotmilk]

Oh to be a glass of milk, helping Jungkook rock and roll 🤤
#BTS #방탄소년단 @BTS_twt @bts_bighit #BTS_Dynamite

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

My fitness watch always be saying you can still do it, never asking if I WANT to still do it

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

Never did I imagine spending a Saturday afternoon watching men in masks compete for the American Cornhole League Championship on ESPN

yet here we are

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

can we all agree that no one dresses as slutty corona virus for halloween

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

TikTok is starting to show me the people I know IRL which means those people might be seeing ME which means no one is safe

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

Quarantine would’ve been a prime time to get that secret nose job

[dong draper @dongtent]

might fuck around and

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rewrite my ‘about me’

[alyssa welfringer @Welfringer22]

A haiku—

my weighted blanket
so fuzzy, yet so heavy
makes the feelings light