Wife Farts

Descriptions of my wife's farts

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Sounded like someone dropped a fistful of sharpies down a short flight of stairs

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

The sound a grumpy old man makes getting up out of a rocking chair

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

That one sounded like a fish with hiccups

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Have you ever heard a pug growl?

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Heard something downstairs, like the echo of someone clearing their throat

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

You know that weird "OH AH AH AH AHH!" part at the start of the Disturbed song "Down With The Sickness"?

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

That one sounded like someone shuffling cards under a blanket

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Like someone drumming on a large bucket, but sped up by 10x

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Do you know that sound a film projector used to make when the movie was over and the end of the film was slapping around the reel?

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Have you ever imagined what a car backfire would sound like through a trumpet?

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Like a playing card in a bike spoke

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Sounds like strumming a comb

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

That one sounded like someone punching a phone book

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Like a bubble coming up through thick... gravy?

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Just the sound of a quietly creaking chair that time

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

That one sounded like an old rowboat scraping against a pier

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

Yesterday, it sounded like a scuba diver coming up for air

[Wife Farts @WifeFarts]

That sounded like ripping a roast beef in half