Wild Dose

✨here lies the unbloated belly stan account✨

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

most people’s fears: heights, the dark, spiders

mine: being somewhere with no toilets

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

one thing about me is I’m going to eat things that definitely hurt my tummy and still complain about it hurting later

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

just out here fighting evil

(my digestive system)

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

I’m just a cutie with a lot of built up gas and tummy aches

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

“who would fall in love with someone with stomach issues”

me:

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

me if complaining about tummy aches was a sport

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

me: *crying into a bowl of pasta to cheer me up*

also me: *gluten intolerant*

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

my life is a constant battle between being hot & mysterious and telling strangers about my tummy ache

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

feeling sad, might eat a block of cheese idk

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

On a cheese comedown, wbu?

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

Another year of denying I’m lactose intolerant

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

New year, same tummy issues

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

your stomach issue hottie name is Lil’ + the last thing that made you bloated

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

me: god, why must you give me your hardest battles

god: I don’t. Your only challenge was to not eat gluten and you literally won’t stop eating it. Last month alone you ate more pasta than the whole of tuscany. Stop calling me.

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

this is the way 🙏

[Nope @MikolajAnd]

Throughout my whole life there's a pattern emerging - All hot and intelligent people have stomach problems. Worth a master's thesis tbh

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

@kalenjordan that counts too

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

“are you ok?” no I have a tummy ache

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

scientists have recently confirmed that people with ibs are 87% more likely to be hot af 🔥😍

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

BREAKING: my tummy (😢)

[Wild Dose @wild_dose]

the human body has like 100,000 trillion bacteria in it and not a single one is helping me digest gluten 🫠