Wilde Thingy (new account)

Took this profile out from the attic while I'm locked out of @wildethingy...

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

Idiots to the left of me, assholes to the right of me, here I am stuck in the middle with my correct opinions.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

No wonder Socrates died

His hemlock was cooked in ancient Greece

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

If you're happy and you know it, you're clearly not paying enough attention.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@farmgirlfunny I feel safer already

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

If I ever met you in real life, it definetly wouldn't be for the purposes of serial killing or any serial killing related malarkey, no siree.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

God is likely a geeky scientist type, spending his days fiddling with the knobs of reality.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

Me "What ya reading?"
Granny "50 Shades of Grey."
Me "Like it?"
Granny "It's not very realistic. They're using the nipple clamps all wrong."

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

[first day as an archaeologist]
Me *turns up with a fedora and a whip*

Boss "sigh" *gestures to hat rack covered in fedoras and whips*

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@victimsofcomics 🚨 "literally" claxon alert 🚨

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@B_Disappointed @NotFarLeftAtAll Council tax is currently based on property values in 1991. Almost every serious economist says it should be reformed, along with stamp duty. Proposing changes seem sensible, not hatred based.

[Ms. Creature @ms5unshine]

I'm going to go home and make myself a Xanax sandwich.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@demsybean The biscuit tin

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

Keep your politics out of my pants.
That's where I keep my biscuits.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@DPJHodges The modern imperative to describe the world as we want it to be, not as it is.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@Krenkx @liverpaul66 @Eccothe2k I mean, disagree with opinions all you want, but it's a real shame to speak to people like that.

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

This fucking stupid personality test keeps wrongly claiming I never listen.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Wife: "You need to do more chores around the house".

Husband: "Can we change the subject?"

Wife: "Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you".

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@sweetmomissa 🤔

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

Is motherfucker a metaphor or an analogy?

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

It's not the length of the words that's important, it's how you use them.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I still have a huge problem with people that look like birds what is their deal

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

Time traveller: "Don't blame us! Every time we killed one of history's greatest dictators, a new one emerged with an even worse moustache"

[Wilde Thingy (new account) @Wilde_Thingy]

@farmgirlfunny Very wise