William Angus

😎

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Nickelodeon should do a stream for the presidential debates like they do for the NFL. If I’m gonna follow along, I need SpongeBob & Patrick to explain to me what a Two-State solution is

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

My wife keeps losing her wedding ring at the bar lol! She’d lose her damn head if it wasn’t screwed on 🤣🤣🤣

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

@isaiah22345 The technology just isn’t there yet

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Business Idea: A bar of soap that’s 7x bigger than a normal bar so you only have to wash your hands once a week

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Just executed a flawless Clog & Jog
(Clog toilet -> demand a different hotel room)

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

I am rage incarnate (my tummy hurts)

[Friday Beers @Friday_Beers]

He scrolled too deep...

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

My email with my full name that I’ve had since 13 is unusable. It is a rotting carcass filled with maggots. 100 emails a day about god knows what. Someone from Iran logs into it once a week and changes the password. It’s time to pull the plug

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

I’m gonna be the uncle that asks to hold the new born baby and they say “uhhh she’s actually really tired right now”

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Cops in horror movies are useless

Woman: please officer help

Cop: it’s probably just old pipes in your house ma’am

Woman: my daughter was skinned alive in her room

Cop: probably a draft from the open window. Ma’am, don’t call again unless you’re in real danger

[AlmostFriday.TV @AlmostFridayTV]

Last night was legitimately insane.

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

To the people that think it’s “hilarious” to piss and poop all over the toilet seats at the bar: guys like me have to wipe up with our bare hands and rub it on our tummies. Grow up.

[AlmostFriday.TV @AlmostFridayTV]

I’m quite good… #roommates #comedyvideo #college

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Oh I was a “burden to my family,” huh?

Ok hot shot, then why did my parents say if it wasn’t for me they would’ve gotten divorced way sooner?

[AlmostFriday.TV @AlmostFridayTV]

Pro tip! @WillAngus_

[William Angus @WillAngus_]

Had to rush my dog to the vet this morning.
I don’t know what’s wrong with her but her poop tastes really weird

[AlmostFriday.TV @AlmostFridayTV]

Clean

[Friday Beers @Friday_Beers]

Every USA fan who’s never watched soccer before #USMNT

[Friday Beers @Friday_Beers]

Couple bad bounces away from going D1…

[Friday Beers @Friday_Beers]

Guys Night