Prince William

The future King of England.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

Waking up to your wife's diarrhea on the bed is a great way to start the morning.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

Hey Americans! Airplanes never crash into our buildings! Haha!

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I wish the media would stop saying Kate is too skinny. SHE'S A FAT COW AND SHE'LL KEEP DIETING IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE QUEEN!!!

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I'm happy News Of The World never hacked my phone. Otherwise you'd all be privy to some sexts between me and a certain Top Gear Presenter.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

My grandmother is fucking old.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

.@HorzaEdeo Imperial. Bitches always be measured in Imperial.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

In unrelated news, there are going to be a fuck ton of Royal Bastards being born in Canada 9 months from now.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I forgot I had a twitter. Been too busy with my Princely duties.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

Getting all my vaccinations before I go see those dirty Canucks.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

Nothing good has eve come out of Manchester. #championsleaguefinal

[Prince William @William_Wales]

@chrisbrown Cool. She could be your next victim. She looks like the kind of girl who could take some punches/bites.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

The rumours about Kate being barren are true. Multiple abortions will do that.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I'm going to ask Obama when he's going to make the Yanks start spelling "colour" correctly. #obamainuk

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I just took a truly Royal poo. Seven flushes to get it down.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

@chrisbrown It's not my birthday.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

@chrisbrown go fuck yourself, cuntface.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

The only reason my grandmother went to Ireland was to visit the Guinness distillery. Old bag loves the black stuff. #queensvisit

[Prince William @William_Wales]

#heyjustin I shagged your mum!

[Prince William @William_Wales]

Kate's making me watch Eurovision. That's why I beat her.

[Prince William @William_Wales]

I hate Harry. He's a disgusting ginger cunt. And he's only my half-brother.