Wilson R. Lackey 🌐

I am here.

Snapchat: wilsonrlackey

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

Yeah, I wanna be "COOL" 😎

C -
O - dead
O -
L -

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

who has a car and would be willing to hit me with it (serious offers only)

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

"You want to have your cake and eat it too" is such a dumb saying

It's literally my cake, of course I want to eat it

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

I mean, maybe it would take YOU that long.

Not me though.

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

How long will it may take to run from Earth to other planets in the solar system

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

No guys, I can't go out and look cool tonight, I have a poor reputation to maintain

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

Why do you assume the ring is cursed just because it whispers to me and exudes a black mist

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

I hope you all view me not only has a mystical esoteric force overdosing on ketamine, but also as a father figure

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

@kaylaj1848 take it back

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

Ran into the Ancient One's on the way to work again and got cursed with forbidden knowledge that I am physically unable to communicate

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

I've been writing all of my emergency attack spells in these bad boys, it's basically the same thing as having a concealed carry

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

If that's your girl, then why is she performing rituals at my altar?

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

Sorry man, I can't hang out today, I keep having visions of dying by your sword

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

Oh great, an ancient sentient obelisk appeared in my apartment and won't stop vibrating and glowing

I swear dude, this always happens to me

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

A wizard just tried to sell me a fire resistance potion in an alleyway, like bro, wrong season

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

my car: *stuck in 5 inches of snow at 1am*

a homeless man appearing out of nowhere to get me out:

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

You have two choices:

A) Be able to access all of your files across multiple devices

B) Get in the pool

It's sync or swim

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

@reeseaubrey12 Hi Aubrey!!

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

At work, asked a guy if he was paying cash or card and he said, "I'm good, thanks. How are you?" and I had to ask him the question again and he just went silent and handed me cash

I know he'll be thinking about that for the rest of his life

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

me: I'm just looking for someone who only knows a few trades

Jack: darn

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

@kaylaj1848 I never claimed to be better

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

To everyone who knew me in high school:

I'm sorry I was cringe, you didn't deserve that

[Wilson R. Lackey 🌐 @WilsonRLackey]

@kaylaj1848 This is about cringe in the past, not the current cringe, you don't know what you're talking about, please educate yourself 😔