Gary Windmiller

Beer drinker. Indoor cig smoker. Wish I was rich instead of badass.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

It’s Saturday. Gonna work on my car ‘til I’m too drunk to hold a wrench.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

My biggest spiritual experience was the first time I heard Indian Outlaw by Tim McGraw.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

@dustyslay Wish they’d leave Cracker Barrel alone. I had all my wedding receptions there.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

If vape is safer than cigs, how come cigs smell good, and vape smells like dirty dishes?

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

Couples oughta have things in common. Like I would never date a gal who don’t smoke cigarettes.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

My all-time dream gal would be Tonya Harding in 1992.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

I don’t zyn or vape. I smoke reds like my mama taught me.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

@dwhoenig I chugged a cold tall boy of Steel Reserve on the way home from work. Ain’t got no a/c in the LeSabre.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

Cheap beer tastes just fine if you chug it.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

The a/c don’t work,
two windows don’t roll down, and the suspension is shot. Still it’s prolly the nicest car I ever had.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

@dustyslay It all tastes pretty good if you put enough booze in it.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

You ain’t got to have a carwash membership to use the vacuums and look at butts.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

My cousin brags his car’s paid off. But in my family that just means he totaled it, then bought it back from the insurance company.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

If a gal don’t smoke, she’s prolly too uppity for me.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

@denvermayor I’m doing ok. Prolly drink a twelver tonight for ol’ Hulk, then I’ll be ok.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

Real sad Hulk Hogan is gone. “I am a real American” was our song at my third wedding.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

Who are some older gals you’d still do, besides Martha Stewart and Judge Judy?

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

You know it’s hot when you ruin a good cigarette with sweaty fingers.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

If you sweat enough alcohol out of your pores, the mosquitos will leave you alone.

[Gary Windmiller @WindmillerGary]

@itstonyaharding Hi Tonya, name’s Gary. I’m single and I don’t have a problem with felons.