𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪

𝒍𝒖𝒌𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#ᴅʏɴᴀsᴛʏ #parody

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ᴏʜ﹐ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ɴɪɢʜᴛ;
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴀᴄʀɪғɪᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪғᴇ﹖

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ☆

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ℒℳ. | #ᴅʏɴᴀsᴛʏ

⠀⠀

[𓄿 ᴛʜє яαᴠєηʜєαɗ ѕᴘєᴄɪαƖ. @PHlLOMATHIC]

ᅠ ⠀
⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴏ ɪ ᴀᴍ
⠀⠀ᴀɴᴅ, ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇsᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ —
⠀⠀⠀⠀ʙᴀʙʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ғɪx ᴍᴇ.
⠀ ⠀⠀ — 𝑴. 𝑹𝑨𝑽𝑬𝑵𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫.
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ succession | #ᴅʏɴᴀsᴛʏ

ᅠ ⠀

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

what does he want

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

have you always been catholic?

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

⠀
@WlTHDUERESPECT ❐
⠀

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

( he hears the tone, and doesn’t even miss a beat. ) do you need to discuss something, thomas? what — have you run out of New York Times crosswords?

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

( static followed by a nervous laugh , fingers barely audibly tapping against the phone. )

heeeey. hi. it’s—— 𝑛𝑜𝑡 ideal but i’m making it work.

( jaw flexes , words coming out tight. ) you were right , huh .ᐣ i 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 needed some fresh air. whatever.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

( he picks up on the fourth ring. ) hey, thomas — how’s the non-working world?

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

( 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 📲 @WlTHDUERESPECT )

[warren sorens, let’s not talk @observerefrain]

𝐖𝐞⸻
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮, 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦;
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀𝘪 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴, 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝘺𝘰𝘶;

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

"Great, let me know when you are available tomorrow. See you then."

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

“Literally my first order of business.” He mentally bumps Mark’s name to the long list of people he needs to call.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

He sighs. "And please for the love of God, fix his big fucking boo boo, for god's sake, it looks like people are trying to attack the building in these new pictures."

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

“Sounds good.” It’s like he’s talking without feeling it— his own words feel distant.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

He nods. "On my way, yeah. be there by 9. Meet tomorrow?"

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

A huffed laugh. “Yeah, for sure, man. You in the states already, or—?”

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

what kind?

[◞ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐎. ⭑ ` @oxygenspanish]

Thank you.

I’ll give you a cookie next time.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

sure, why the fuck not. ( he offers. )

[◞ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐎. ⭑ ` @oxygenspanish]

Come
on, don’t be rude. Please?

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

You want me to share? uh — you can't get your own?

[◞ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐎. ⭑ ` @oxygenspanish]

Share ?

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

hmm, kind of sounded like it.

— well, don't sleep that long, go out and smell roses, something, I don't know. take a trip.

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

no! no, no—— of course i’m not rejecting anything.

( forcing a smile. )

okay. 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦. sure, yeah—— a nap. until—— you get a hold of me again?

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

He nods. "Great, can we set up a meeting in person? Not one of these phone call things, I feel like you're a booty call. — restaurant maybe? Just a quiet setting."

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

“Um— yeah. I mean— yeah. Of course I can.” His head is spinning. Forget crying, he might throw up.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

are you — rejecting my request?

yes, roman. until further notice, go take a nap or something.

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

( his expression 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑠, all five stages of grief in display. )

i’m sorry—— roman? what—— no, no, i got this. i 𝑔𝑜𝑡 this. there’s no need. absolutely no need for me to—— ( whatthefuckwhatthefuck )

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

He purses his lips. "Sorry, was there a bad connection?"

Lukas clears his throat obnoxiously. "—You can take over right? So, Tom can get whatever that shit is together?"

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

He nearly drops his phone.

“Um.” A nervous laugh as he tries to gauge how serious Lukas is. “What?”

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

He leans over and swallows hard.

"Good, so, you're interim CEO for now, since Tom shit on the sheets over and over, and has yet to clean up his own mess, yeah?" he smiled.

"No merking for Tim-Tom Wigwaming here!"

[⧼‍ ‍𝑅𝙾𝑀𝘈𝒩. ‍ @ofromuIus]

Roman manages a watery flicker of a smile. He feels like he might cry.

“Yeah, man. We’re full speed ahead. We’ll get primetime straight, ratings back up, pull this shit tighter than a nun’s cooch. ATN’s older than I am, I’m not gonna let it get merked by fuckin’ Tim-Tom Wigwam.”

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

just let you quietly leave for a while. since, anything I say goes, right? I'll talk to Roman.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

( he holds up his hands. )

Tommy, Lukas is — upset. (cue him talking like a baby.) can you imagine! everyone thinking we are frauds! oh no! what — what should I do!

( he scoffs. )

hey, let me fix this. give you some time away. let's get rid of this entire narrative, and —

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

( that makes him go quiet because—— for once, he’s not sure if lukas is still being all word or if he might actually bite down ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 on him. the comparison to logan is something he can brush off, but when he threatens to bump him down——)

lukas, come on … no. you——

⁺

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

happy hour at a bar or in the retirement home?

great looking out for what's best for the company.

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱ���ᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

I uh — I hope you aren't mocking me, because that's a big no no with lukas.

well, I have talked to him — are you not able to do it? so, when 60 minutes gets an interview with the president, then how do they? huh? CEO? producer? wow, I cannot believe I'm having —

[c͟hief ‍e͟xecutive ‍o͟fficer @WAMBSBANG]

( he holds back a roll of his eyes. )

you want direct contact, direct content 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 the president? just to—— what? wave our flag as a, ‘we got his approval even if we are missing our top menckenist host’ move?

and, no … 𝑛𝑜, i didn’t run it through him. he would’ve——

[𓆩 ᴵᴷᴱᴬ ᶠᴿᴬᴺᴷᴱᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴵᴺ ᴹᴼᴺ𝒔ᵀᴱᴿᵎ 𓆪 @WlTHDUERESPECT]

HR now since you're firing people? maybe you should be just a tiny producer since you seem to not consult with your people?

is that — is that how america does their work? hey, let's fire an anchor and replace him with a — who? hopper? hooper? the guy who should be having —