Woke_Tully

Woke quotes from Mike Tully.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Put your pork where my mouth is.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Katy Perry’s career is a little bit past its sell-by date.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

I can not just beat Mike Tyson at Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! I can toy with that motherfucker.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

For a couple years there, I was using a lot less than 15% less deodorant.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Some people are color blind. I’m popular-thing blind.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

There’s nothing wrong with smoking weed and watching TV.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Kiss wanted to rock all night and party every day. I want to drink seltzer every morning and I legitimately cannot wait.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

I am not an IT person, but I’ve been around enough to know that you do not fuck with them. IT guys are smart and IT guys are evil.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

I’ve been going to Ross about 3 times a week. Partially, because I like to see if they have cool discount Stance socks.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Everybody’s invited to Satan’s gang bang.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Los Angeles, you can ski and surf in the same day. Just you’re an absolute douche if you do it.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Puréed parsnips are a Grade A panty moistener.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

The Betty Crocker cookbook sat on the shelf alongside the Bible and Encyclopaedia Britannica.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Time has become so irrelevant.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Human beings. We hiccup. We eat. We love. We fight. We fart. We dance.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

I am your go-to-source for all Dorito oriented news. I hear about it first.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

They’ve changed the names and taken away all of the poetry of Girl Scout cookies.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

Cheesecake is due for a renaissance.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

When I was 20, I ate foods other than Kraft macaroni and cheese.

[Woke_Tully @Woke_Tully]

There’s a reason I buy two of the whipped creams. One for the cream, one for the whippit.