Gods Favorite Retard

No Refunds for the shit show

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

fuck

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I saw someone say, “No spoilers for The Odyssey.” Brother, you’ve had 3,000 years to read the book.

[Charly Wargnier @DataChaz]

life before this tweet:

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

Global news is a psyop. They want you to hooked into shit thousands of miles away so you’re too distracted to do anything about the problems in your own backyard.

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

Before you ask if I fuck w the vision, make sure it’s not a hallucination

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

If I buy a product I should become exempt from having to see ads for it for at LEAST a month

[Aaron Ahlstrand-White @AaronWhite608]

“God I hope I don’t get the lettuce parasite,” I say as I eat a Celsius and peanut m&ms for lunch.

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

“Fucked up in the crib, blowin on the snake bean”

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

Heavy is the hand that honks the clown

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

What would you give to get what you want?

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

The beatings will continue until morale improves

[FLEXZY @Flexzyisking]

Bro was smooth with it, I don’t think anybody noticed. 😭

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

@pikaawho These are my motivational words of the day

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

You know who has drinking problems? Cops. Don’t have cop habits.

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

So true bestie 😪

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

Just found out Christian hardcore bands are a thing? Yeah dude crowd kill that teenager for Jesus

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

Sometimes I stay up extra late and snack and send funny reels to my backup IG bc im my own best friend 😌

[Gods Favorite Retard @WongBizard]

If my brain was an animal right now it would be this

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

wretched wet beast