Bort

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Making music and sharing it is great cuz no one listens to it and then they also message you like “hey bro I’m playing a show 700 miles away from you. Would be sick if you could make it”

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Back in my day Thaiboy Digital wasn’t a musician, it was a website you had to use a VPN to get on

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Life is simple. Listen to @GOLDBLUMS515, cook, clean, trim your nails, etc

[Bort @wordguyBort]

@wetchemistry Poetry

[Bort @wordguyBort]

I want to start wearing a wedding ring and when people ask about it be like “oh you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different school”

[Bort @wordguyBort]

@GoodWillsmith Fuuuuck this rules!

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Showing up to court in these shorts and a plain white tall tee with the neck stretched out and asking the judge “when are you gonna fucking relax a bit, man?” after everything he says

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Going to Merle Hay Mall with my infant son in matching “I don’t play well with others…” t-shirts and Jack Skellington snapbacks, and shouting to all the other parents we walk past that “god cursed me with a twin haha. Looks like I’ll do what my dad never did and raise me haha”

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Euro step the timeline bro

[Bort @wordguyBort]

I still login to @tinymixtapes and makes edits on my old posts because I’m a PSYCHOPATH

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Hell yes

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Jack Torrence is so bad at killing his family

[Bort @wordguyBort]

@president_ze Take it easy man

[Bort @wordguyBort]

For about five years of my childhood my friend Jon would call me on the phone after school and ask “wanna play guns” and I would say “yes” and run to his house

[Bort @wordguyBort]

I’m the captain now, dog

[Bort @wordguyBort]

I guarantee you Anne Hathaway still says “alirighty then”

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Fuck Ace Venture Pet Detective for giving the annoying, overconfident kids in grade school a template to be “funny”

[Bort @wordguyBort]

Human Centipede buts it’s just me eating centipedes for two hours

[Bort @wordguyBort]

@FakeFanAdam @worldofpif Cool if I still say slaw? Love coleslaw

[Bort @wordguyBort]

@db_thursday You went back to sleep after you thought you pissed yourself? You didn’t clean it up or change the sheets?