The Worst Muse

No, seriously, go for it. It'll be a bestseller. (By @RaeBeta.)

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

You're right. The world DOES need another novel about an aging English professor's affair with a nubile young co-ed.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

When I told that Paul Ryan guy that vampires were the future, I didn't think he'd take it so metaphorically. Sorry.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

What if the Confederates won... and also what if they were sexy vampires?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Ennui is always in style.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

DeviantArt is public domain, right?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Okay, but WHAT IF we lived in a world where, get this, white people were persecuted?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Kudos for including such a well-developed gay character! Have you figured out how you're going to kill them yet?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

That superhero movie pitch is okay, but think about how much better it'd be if you made it an origin story.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

It's finally an election year! Don't you think it's about time you started that heavy-handed political allegory?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Can't wrap your head around kids these days? Consider adoption! At worst, you can always wring a heart-wrenching memoir out of it.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

If you get stuck, just kill a character. If you get really stuck, kill them all.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Deadlines are for hacks. YOU'RE an artist.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Having trouble coming up with a good resolution? Have you considered "It was all a dream"?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

It's still not too late to add a vampire. #NaNoWriMo

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

I mean, it's good, but is it a Johnny Depp vehicle?

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Plucky orphans solving mysteries.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Show, don't tell: try replacing adjectives with emoji.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Animals' thought processes and social dynamics are probably just like cuter versions of ours.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Are you sure it's clear what happened last chapter? Maybe you should stage a conversation where your protagonist can recap it in detail.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Make this one the story that proves to your asshole ex beyond all shadow of doubt that they really loved you all along.

[The Worst Muse @WorstMuse]

Your protagonist should be an everyman, which is to say exactly like you but with better romantic prospects.