Jay

Functioning disfunction.

Sharing my Mental journey day by day with complete strangers.

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Like most I traverse life aimlessly so I'll use the daily #vss365 to document my state of mind.

Like a #Foreigner on a new shore I'll explore this venture with caution, who knows where it'll lead. A nervous excitement.. this is new.

#WritingCommunity #mentalhealth #amwriting

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Genuinely hilarious

#TikTok https://t.co/Uh2uvOuBBa

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

@CosPlayGirl44 Very much appreciated 👀 wow x

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Ever have one of those days where you don't want to be here anymore?

Rationality my only safety net at the moment.

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

@silveringofrose Thank you and I hope you have a truly beautiful day. ❤️

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Sorry for the silence again! This time was my choice, took a step back from socials, enjoying my own time.

No #dilly dallying wasting the day away scrolling.I feel much better.

A rare positive that"ll hopefully become the norm

#vss365 #Mentalhealth #WritingCommunity #amwriting

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Today is a bad mental health day.

That familiar #smell of failure burns my nostrils. Two calls back to back have confirmed I won't be getting the help I needed to keep afloat this month. Those small cash injections were crucial

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #mentalhealth

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

@bionicanadian Love the imagery ❤️

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

@bionicanadian Thank you! 🤙❤️

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

The days are getting better for me. New job next month, old job I still love but more stable future.

My past discretions still #burn my mind when I lower my guard but I want to be different, I owe it to myself to be better.

#vss365 #mentalhealth #WritingCommunity #amwriting

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Each name #burns as they are read out in court, my 'victims'. Man, woman and child all innocent in their eyes.

If only they knew, I had to do it, they were all destined to go on to do such horrific deeds.

I'm the true saviour.

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #horror

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

1.

'Stand 2 #metres apart please', became a standard throughout COVID. I'd been keeping my distance for much longer than that, never letting anyone truly closer. I'd like to, but..

I'm just a vessel for the days tasks.

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #mentalhealth #dailyupdate

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

He lay out her intestines, evenly spaced a #meter apart. With each alteration he gagged. He once loved her, still does, but now..

This was the only way to trap her spirit and truly lay her to rest.

She'd already killed so many..

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #horror

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

"Language is fun" claimed Paul

"Oh Paul.." sighed Lea

"If I say #meter to you you could assume I meant meet her, or maybe even meteor or bizarrely meatier. Either way, I'm sure an entertaining back and forth could follow.."

Lea sighed.. "Oh Paul.."

#vss365 #WritingCommunity

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

She pulls at the rubber #band around her wrist, snapping it against her skin hoping to yank her out of the nightmare.

But this one was all too real, the barred windows and walls, the claw marks on the door..

The blood on her hands..

#vss365 #amwriting #WritingCommunity #horror

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Strike up the #band I'm back, had to take a moment away from social media and try to get out of my head, it wasn't a friendly place to be. Still isn't but I'm back to documenting as best I can how I feel on a daily. Tara 4 now.

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #mentalhealth

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Dealing with shady people is expected when your business is ran on the Dark Web. The blackmail #racket I run turns a good profit.

But when a familiar envelope landed on my mat I knew the tables had turned.

Treat your staff well..

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #horror

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

The thoughts are loud today, self doubt and overactive imagination have teamed up to kick my ass, down but not quite out.

#food is of no interest likewise conversation, sleep and people hold no interest to me right now.

#vss365 #mentalhealth #amwriting #WritingCommunity

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

Sorry I've been quiet the past few days, every now and then the thoughts win and I implode. I'm still below the rubble but I'm trying.

Really I'm trying. Someone has to.

#food for thought.

#vss365 #MentalHealthMatters #mentalhealth #WritingCommunity #amwriting

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

@bionicanadian 🫂

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

"I'm #fine"

"No it's OK, it's fine"

"Fine, I'll do it myself no worries"

Regardless how used I feel, unheard, under appreciated and uncared for these are always my go to answers.

I'm becoming numb.

#vss365 #mentalhealth #WritingCommunity #amwriting

[Jay @WriterNotFound]

The first officer through the door recoiled in horror at the sight before him.

The killer had somehow evaded capture but the scene he left behind..

His victim, cut into #fine slithers hung on the wall like a macabre art exhibit..

#vss365 #WritingCommunity #amwriting #horror