Erin Lyon

Writer, Lawyer, Connoisseur of Poor Decision-Making. Rep'd by @WolfsonLiterary. Published by @ForgeReads.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

"If you weren't so goddamn adorable, you'd be unbearable." ~My husband

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

If anyone wants my recipe for my famous Xanax mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving, let me know. My family seems to love them.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Sometimes, I start talking about my job, forgetting that the details of my job horrify 100% of normal people.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

@kathleenmadigan is Emma Stone if she liked cookies and had a teeny meth problem. ❤️

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

I don't battle my inner demons anymore. We've teamed up.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

@dizzblnd Awesome. Thanks 😊

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Last year I wanted 2019 to be over and felt like 2020 was going to be an amazing year. I'm not falling for that shit again. #2020 #NewYear2021

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

On the bright side, famed psychic, Jeane Dixon, said that armageddon would happen in 2020, and she called the Kennedy assassination. So...we're almost done.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

@MinstrelShow @RPA_Jazz @cjpearson Blue cities like Chicago are democrat run, top to bottom. There isn't much conservatives can do with City-level problems when the constituents consistently elect Democrats.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Wish there was a better way to say "I miss you" that would accurately convey the hole you left in my life. ❤️ #tweetstoheaven

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Y'all have been breathing each other's air too long.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

A Murder Hornet implies the existence of a Negligent Manslaughter With Extenuating Circumstances Hornet.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Everything wrong with Facebook can be summed up by the fact that they added a "care" emoji before they gave us an "eye roll" one.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

And we thought we were close to a civil war before?

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Don't forget to put your jeans on once a week because your yoga pants lie.

Follow me for more fitness advice.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

This quarantine is making people do crazy shit they normally wouldn't do. Look at me... Back on Twitter.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I continue to mow my lawn just like the band continued to play on the Titanic.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human has no idea what the future holds. which is fine. i never know what’s going to happen next. i only know about right now. and right now i’m climbing into your lap. to let you play with my ears

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Happy Friday! Just kidding. Who cares.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? 🌎

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

I'm giving this apocalypse zero stars. Would not recommend.