Wrong Whatton CC

Middle of England. Middle ability cricket club. All welcome. No Welsh.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

New season, new groundsman (RIP Nerys Stranks, we’ll miss you (and we’ll get the work shed rewired)). Get the square ready, we said. This. FFS.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

A reminder that Saturday’s “Nodding the beagles” will start from behind the Post Office. It’s fancy dress, as is tradition during the winter gooch. There is a prize for best Fluff costume.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

We’re making an early call on this one. The TV Umpire appears to have escaped. Not sure who left the window open, but it looks like that’s how he’s got out. Needless to say both games are off this weekend. Please stay indoors. Do not approach the TV Umpire. Good luck.

[Out Of The Blue @outofthebluetoo]

We are headlining the LoCo Stage at @glastonbudget Music Festival this Friday night at 9.15pm 😀🎸

If you’re up for a set of familiar songs that will get you dancing joyously and singing at the top of your voice come and check us out. We’d love to see you ✌️❤️🎸
#packtheLoCo

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Great second weekend. 1s called off just before the first ball because the pitch was “a bit damp”. 2s last reported near St Ives. We’re assuming it’s the one nearer us. Cricket’s the winner.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Super opening weekend to the season. 1s got a rained off draw. 2s are showing up as “Last seen in Diss”, which sounds fine. Obviously the Sunday XI are still serving the rest of the ten-match ban for spot-fixing. Also, it looks like we’ve got a lead on the Vicar’s disappearance

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Scenes at the ‘Bowl! Scenes repeated, no doubt, the length of the county. There hasn’t yet been a story that didn’t start “that time when”. Summer

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Bad start. Skipper’s been arrested. The Rozzers checked his bag and found some batting tape. Taken him away on “suspicion of intent to protest by tying-on”. Also, “badger-baiting” it turns out.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Thanks to all who helped lift the covers off the village. That year off for tax reasons should pay dividends in the new season ahead. Ground looks good. Weather looks great. The Vicar is missing. 2s are away at Scole Park CC. They left on Thursday…

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Head of Neighbourhood Watch just spotted climbing in through the back window. Apparently, Susan at the Post Office sold her a roll of bin bags, a bottle of sherry and small pistol, earlier.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Thanks to everyone who came out to build the Wicker Man last night

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Just seen the Head of Summer Fête and the Deputy Maypole Co-ordinator go into the Council Chair’s bungalow.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

We thank Rex for his service.

[Wrong Whatton CC @WrongCc]

Statement from the Village Hall Warden: “fuck you all. I’m done. You can clean up after your own orgies from now on”.

[GPG @GPGoodall]

@fatzorro Don’t you remember the serial darts murderer in @WrongCc? Terrible business. The pub darts & dominoes team had to fold when he was eventually sent down. I think he’s up for parole soon. Handy opening bat, too.

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Warnock Farnaby is claiming he went to “all the Number 10 parties” and was definitely there when “they were hoofing blow up the Cabinet Secretary’s arse”. Not gonna say he’s an unreliable witness, but he reckons he once “met that Allah”. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Dean was always a prick. To this day I don’t know how Paul puts up with him. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Evita Capaldi is (like all unicorns) a massive racist. In her case it’s “wrote-a-Dear-Priti-letter-offering-to-hang-about-in-the-Channel-puncturing-boats-with-her-horn-for-Britain” racist. Why do we not talk about this FFS? #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

There was no party. And even if there was it was fully socially distanced. And Ivan definitely didn’t do a line of gak from off Karl’s arse. #bwaaark

[@forgottengoals @forgottengoals]

Had never seen this before. Incredible strike. Peter King for Cardiff v Middlesbrough on this day in 1970 #ccfc