Elizabeth Stride

Husband, father, drag queen. Views mine and mine only.

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

IG bodybuilders. Your abs look nice. Your lunch doesn’t. Sincerely, thirsty bitches everywhere.

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

They could’ve used a better picture of me #trending #jacksmith

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

“Hey Siri, what’s the French for ‘organic GMO-free hemp-enriched moustache oil’?”

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

My in-laws sometimes speculate about what caused my husband to ‘turn gay’. Then, whenever there’s a wedding in their compound, I see them gather at the windows to judge what the bride’s wearing. #nurturenotnature

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Just shy of 20% of all the winners of #RPDR were crowned in the last 6 months

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

#Tokyo2020 #Olympics HQ, three years ago.

“Kujiro! Who are those people who are great at choreography? Is it homosexuals or Holocaust deniers?”

“The second one.”

Three years later:

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Him: “I’ve never bottomed before!”
Me:

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Final day at my desk after four phenomenal, breakneck and breathless years at @UKRI_China. A spectacular team I’m sad to leave, but excited for my next role. The world has changed, and so I’m changing with it. Thanks to everyone who made my time with @UKRI_News so special!

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

@Maustallica do you feel #wandavision might have been more enjoyable if each episode had followed the same structure as Chucklevision? I.e. Scarlet Witch and Vision move a grumpy man’s furniture up or down some stairs - with hilarious results.

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Worth bearing in mind that, when officials say “we have no evidence,” they mean “we don’t fucking know.”

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

My MIL hit peak Old Chinese Lady the day we received a hand-me-down onesie from another family and Charlie cried a bit when we put it on, so she took it outside and flapped it madly in the air to “exorcise the evil spirits.”

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

How many turkeys can one man pardon? #MichaelFlynn

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

For the first time in history, the trans flag is flying over the @FCDOGovUK estates in #China. Proud to have worked with colleagues to secure this symbolic moment and hope it sparks a wider conversation #TransDayOfRemembrance #TransLivesMatter

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

@BeijingPalmer Taiyuan. Hands down.

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

stop the c*nt

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

@Maustallica

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Can we please go back to ‘cheeky’ being an adjective applied solely to the words: ‘monkey’, ‘chappie’, and ‘Vimto’?

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

@BeijingPalmer It won’t be accidental

[Elizabeth Stride @Xepherus]

Found his running mate

[Benjamin Law 羅旭能 @mrbenjaminlaw]

Update: I am committed to the truth. On this occasion I fell short, and this tweet constitutes me correcting my mistakes.

I’m doing my best and will try to do better.