A Black Male Public Journal

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I created this for personal relief only

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

This path of self improvement and healing seems to be at a standstill. I’m unsure of how to keep the progress going.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

There’s a dark cloud coming over me I feel it. I’m to scared to tell people because I don’t want the perspective of me to change. Society has made feel like I’m weak if I open up but there’s a muzzle on mouth when I feel like opening up. I feel there’s no way out just a cycle.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I’m entering a new era in my life I’m excited for. I’ve started to relay less on monetarily items for happiness and focusing on self happiness. I think that’s the only way I’ll be truly happy.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

This time I made it clear because life is short. We can go at any moment cherish those around us now. Forgiveness and acceptance of my past will lead to better me

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

My past traumas affect me more than I thought. I’ve come to terms with that. I talked to my mom and let her know I love her. My childhood was ruff but she did the best she could and I see that looking back. I’m unsure if she knew I truly loved here even tho I said in the past.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I spend time in quite thinking about the things I avoided. Which is good because I can face it move over it. Although sometimes it’s a battle mentally when I bring something up too dramatic in my past. I’ll continue to work.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I want better for myself. I want to be truly be happy and healed. I’ve taken steps to help I’m spending less time on social media and unfollowed all news outlets. Working out more often. The gym has been amazing space for me lately.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

Not only that I’m still facing issues from the past. That affect relationships that I have but this time instead of running from abandonment issues and jumping into a relationship while still being hurt. I’m going to spend this fighting to better myself because I want better.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

Growing poor and things faced because of that have affected me deeply. I would say more than I expected or thought. I thought having money would fix it. Sou worked sacrificed my childhood and early adulthood trying to chase it. It worked but I now missing the memories I missed

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I stopped smoking because of how it made me feel. It often makes me overthink, have anxiety, and makes feel things emotionally that I don’t when sober. I think that’s why I smoke so I’m not so numb to the world.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

Creating these entries allow me to allow the bad energy I keep with and release it from within on my path to healing

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

It’s been almost 4 years since my grandma died. I still get sad when I think of her and that sucks because I avoid thinking of her. I feel like I didn’t get to weep probably during her passing making sure others were good. I do that a lot. Why not make sure I’m ok first?

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

When I get into these depressed stages it feels like another person. Maybe this is my true side

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I get scared to ask for help because I’m afraid of how people will see me.

[A Black Male Public Journal @YBMjournal]

I’ve been through a lot and that’s ok. I wish that could afford therapy but I can’t. So I run from past trauma I thought that was ok but is not. I need to find self peace.